Depression and anxiety. As if Diabetes isn't bad enough by itself. I am more of an anxiety sufferer myself. It's genetic. (She get it from her ma-ma). My older younger brother (as opposed to the baby brother) deals with it too. We all chew on our fingers. It's rather gross.
My point is, I got problems, man. My personal anxiety and depression are mostly triggered by changes in my routine and life. Which stinks in college, because you get a new schedule and often times a new living arrangement every semester.
I enjoyed the routine of working the same five days, forty hours a week this summer. It gave me something to get used to. And unlike a college schedule, the same schedule every day. But moving back home, being unemployed, and commuting to school (1 hour each way) only two days a week has thrown me for a loop. I have been down this past two weeks and it's driving me crazy. Spending August with David and then sending him back to school without any real plans for visits did not help in the least.
Sure, my blood sugar checking habits and eating habits have been great. My sleeping habits, exercising habits, and homework doing habits, not so much. Not to mention everything I had in the other house is still in the garage and my room currently looks like a war zone (although this is generally true). I'm 3 weeks behind in two of my classes. Ok, technically three. I just spaced on my online bio quiz that was due on Friday. This is my last semester. I need to not fail. I need to graduate.
I still haven't done the final paperwork for my finaincial aid. I forgot to get enrolled in an internship credit. Not sure if I can still do that. I may be one upper-level credit hour short of graduating. The only thing I've kept up on has been teaching, and only because other people depend on me for that.
Personal. Information.
This week, I better get to it. I better pull myself together and get out of this funk. If I don't, I'm going to have to start seeing someone for this. I am still not ready for that. But I'm giving myself an ultimatum. Catch up on your homework. Clean your room. Sleep at night, not during the day. You have til next Monday. If you don't, you're seeing a therapist.
I hope I listen to myself.
Monkey knows I can do it. -->
I know how difficult this can be...yea for genetics! ;P...people don't often understand it's not as easy as 'just doing it'...you can think about what you need to do, have it all mapped out in your head but then feel paralyzed and not act on it...sometimes it takes time to get back on track, some people bounce back quickly, others it takes time....
ReplyDeleteif you need to see someone there is no shame in that...but you'll know if the time is right for you...
BIG HUGS!