Showing Vanessa

Sarah

New Blog Link

If you're here looking for the PWDPK, she has moved. You can find her at a new blog called Sarahndipity on Wordpress:

http://sajabla.wordpress.com/

I scheduled the post for 7am CST on Monday, January 25. If it didn't post then, something is screwy. I hope it works.

Announcement: Moving

This will be my last post at Blogspot. After much research and deliberation, I've decided to move my blog to WordPress. The new site isn't up and running yet, but it should be by Monday, at which point I will release the URL and you can visit and change out your RSS feeds.

Thanks for your love and support the past six months. I can't believe what the PWDPK has become and where I am going.

Endo Report

Yesterday I had a rather productive visit with my endo.

First of all, I found out that I have lowered my a1c by 0.4%! My current (as of last wednesday) a1c is 7.5%! I am very estatic about this number. My mom says she thinks this is the lowest I have ever been! My dad says he thinks I was at 6.8 once. Haha, I don't remember.

Second of all, Dr. M said she thinks that my leg pain and numbness sounds like inflamatory problems. She suggusted I try taking advil before exercising and waiting 30 minutes. She said that I probably have some sort of shin splint problem. She said it doesn't sound like neropathy.

Finally, we talked about insulin resistance. She said that my basals arent' actually that high and that it could be a lot worse. She said that she woulnd't worry, and that of course losing weight (which btw I lost 4 lbs!!) would help. We also talked about an exercise program and things that could help me stick with it.

All in all, a very satisfying day!

Tomorrow I have a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT (hint: I'm jumping on the bandwagon) so watch out!

Fears and Failures.

OK, so my commitment to blogging daily has completely sidetracked so far. Between 12 hours of school and working 20 hours a week, I have been a little bogged down.

So that was fail number 1.

Fail number two I hesitate to even blog about. It's because it's born out of diabetes guilt. Diabetes guilt is like a plastic bag shoved over your head. It suffocates you, constricting your airways until you drown. I don't know if I can describe the precise feeling. I have been dealing with it this week as I come up on my next lab appointment and doctors appointment, where I will learn if my a1c has improved since my last visit (7.9). My guess? My guess is no. In fact, I won't be surprised if I'm back into the 8's, even though I have started using Dexcom and the Animas Ping pump since then. I did really well for a while, but things always get the better of me. I need to start picking just one habit to work on each week or month or even year. I don't know, I feel as if I was supposed to do better on these machines and I haven't been. I was without dexcom for a couple weeks, and didn't test enough then, and now feel like i'm swimming uphill to "catch up."

I got really scared today. I'm not afraid to share this. I want people to know what happens, what diabetics fear and experience. I was walking back to my car after class, a long way across campus, and my feet went numb. I've been dealing with lower leg pain while walking for a few years now, but never have they gone numb like this while I was walking. OK, they weren't completely numb, but they were very tingly and had that "asleep" feeling.

OK, so, I am 22. And now I am scared I’ll lose one or both feet by the time I am 35. I am freaked out by this beyond belief.

I'm so glad I have a doctor's appointment next week. Please, prayers that I can covey what I want to say and get some honest feedback from her, and that we can get this feet problem taken care of so I can live a long, healthy, happy, wheelchair free life.

(I am so scared).

New Job

As I announced on Twitter yesterday, I got the job that I interveiwed for yesterday. I'm pretty hyped about it, although nervous about entering the "real" world, with an office and everything. It's super exciting! Work and diabetes are interesting to manage. I've held several different types of jobs and the subject is always touchy, but this time it will hopefully be less so. The person who refrenced me for the job already works there, and he is T1 as well. So, when the boss man noticed we both chew our upper lip, he said, "Is that a diabetic thing?" (I think he was joking).

At any rate, I expect to remain professional and not give lots of details about my job on my blog, other than the occasional diabetes shinanigans. This is going to be a "growing up" period for me, learning how to work in the professional world. I think it will be good and sad.

What was your first "real" job, and how did you have to adjust? If you had diabetes then, has it created any memorable, good or bad, moments in your workplace?

The Interview

Today is the day that I begin my M-F blog posting for the year. I'm challenging myself to blog five days a week in an effort to develop myself as a blogger. I'm also challenging myself to keep up with my fellow bloggers this year.

Today I have an interview for a new job in approximately one hour. In honor of my job interview, and since I don't have a lot of time to write this post, here is an entertaining remake of the Homestar Runner short:

"The Interview"



You can see the actual short here, complete with animation.If you're unfamiliar with Homestar Runner and into stupid, simple, ridiculous, clean comedy, explore the site! It kept me and my friends entertained for hours in high school and my best friend and I still quote it quite frequently.

Til next time, DOCites

Happy New Year

My letter to myself:

Welcome to 2010. 

Your 20-something decade. 

Imagine how different your life will be 10 years from now...

This will be your healthy decade - so you live to see 32 and the year 2020. 

You Can Do It. 

<3 - your 22 year old self 

Stereotypical Year In Review

I am not going to post a month by month recap of the boring events of my life. For one, you probably don't want to read it, and for two, I really don't want to relive some of the moments. But for the bad that 2009 brought, it certainly did bring some good. I had a fabulous internship last summer. I graduated from college. I started using Miss Pingy, the insulin pump, and Dexter the CGMS. And of course, I started blogging and joined the DOC.

I think that looking back is healthy, but I think that looking forward is more important. We can't change what happened in the past. It happened, it's over, regrets and worries only add stress to our lives. We can only look ahead and figure out what we plan on doing differently the next time. Next time, I'm going to own the world. I've got some exciting opportunities coming up this year. I have a new school to go to with a new major to pursue. I have an opportunity on the horizon for Big Things to happen in my professional life. I have never been closer to my boyfriend, and we will be having our 3 year anniversary this year. I can only hope and daydream about how that will turn out.

2010 will be a Big Year. It may be fantastic or it may be a disaster. The only thing we have to remember is that we shape our own destiny. Our choices shape who we become. I want to control my life this time. I want to succeed.

Early Resolutions.

I got a new Wii game.

First of all, my family got a Wii for Christmas to share. So I am not borrowing Davids Wii anymore. Chances are he'll move somewhere far away soon (:( ), meaning he'd take the Wii with him far away from me. Anyhow, that's not an issue anymore, because he got me a new game. 

Its called EA Sports Active, done by the EA people who do a lot of sports games for various video game systems. It is pretty intense, more intese than Wii Fit (which we are getting on January 8th). I have used it for 3 days now and so far I really like it. The "running" is supposed to be in place like the Wii Fit, but I didn't like that so I just move to the treadmill, which is in front of the TV anyway. I love this! I have been actually running on the treadmill, when before I never put the speed higher than a brisk walk.

My resolutions started a week early this year. I am still scared. I am scared of having a heart attack in my 30's. I want to do everything I can to avoid heart disease. I also want to get organized and do some growing up this year. I'm turning 23, I'm a college grad, and if everything works out I may be out of retail in the next few months.

I'm even starting school again, enrolling in a Nutrition/Dietetics program. That means that once completed, I can apply for my RD certification and then begin the process of becoming a Certified Diabetes Educator, something I have been feeling called to do since starting to take care of my self better.

Bring on 2010. I'm ready!

Sickness and no Dexcom sensors

I've been a little AWOL, spending time with my boyfriend, family, and friends and doing all the Christmas things that my family does each year, working the retail Christmas curcit and having a blast shopping with my friends. In this lovely progression of the season I managed to catch a cold from my brother.

Usually colds and flu don't mess with my blood sugar, but combine the cold with yummy holiday food and you have a recipe for 300+ blood glucose numbers.

I am also san dexcom. About a week ago I went to put in a new sensor and my two reserve sensors weren't where I left them. I have scowered my house and dispite my mother's objections, I have determined that they somehow got thrown away or so misplaced that they are unfindable (the black hole that eats socks somehow found a big fed ex box with sensors in it). So, I can't order new sensors until mid-January. Sans Dexcom, again.

The moral of the story is to put your sensors in a safe place, not against the wall in the living room in the fed ex box that could get mistaken for trash. Also, don't get sick during the holidays.

Another lesson I learned this week was to order pump supplies ahead of time. We'll see how that one pans out.

I hope you and yours had a safe and happy Christmas dispite the giant blizzard that swept most of the midwest, and that you have a safe and high BG free New Years Day.

Christmastime is here

I can't believe it's only three days until Christmas. It really snuck up on me this year. I am not even finished shopping yet. Between Graduation, which was Saturday, finishing up finals, and working 10-20 hours a week in retail on top of it all, I was really surprised yesterday when I realized Christmas was in five days and I had done almost no Christmas shopping. Luckily, my list isn't too long. I am going to exchange gifts with friends after Christmas, so I still have time to work on that. David and I decided to wait until we both had steady jobs to think about doing gifts. We may do something big for each other around Valentines day. I did buy him a rubix cube with KU stickers instead of the standard solid colors on it. Other than that, I just had my parents and my two brothers to shop for. My older-younger brother asked for a movie that I have been unable to find and may have to order on amazon and give him a homemade card to stand in as a gift til it comes in. That's what I get for waiting. Haha.

What I really wanted to write about is how much I let my diabetes care slide this time of year. It was my goal for my a1c to be below 7.5 by the time I visit my Endo on January 20. I was well aware I would have to muddle through Thanksgiving and Christmas before I got to that point, but I thought I could handle it. I seem to have overestimated myself. I forgot that with people coming home, and having more free time, that everyone would want to go out to eat. I forgot that in the winter, I crave meat and bread and potatoes. I forgot that my  house would be filled with homemade treats all month, thanks to my Pastor Dad and parishioners looking for cheap presents to show their appreciation for his hard work.

I forgot how hard it is to make it through the holiday season with D!


What do you do to keep yourself on the right track during the holiday season?

Edumacated.

Just a quick note to announce to the world that I am officially finished with my college education. All I have to do now is enroll in one hour next semester ("independent study" for work I've already done) and fight with the registrar about one credit transferring. I should get my degree in the mail in June, but I get to walk this Saturday.

Excited.

Now that finals are over, I will resume the normal 2-5 posts a week schedule. I'm going to try to come up with a more firm posting schedule (like maybe MWF) and creative ways to come up with solid posts. I really want my blog to be personal and for me, but I also want it to help other people who happen upon it.

Off to conqur the world as a college grad

Til next time, DOCites

The Evil Chair

My one nemisis. One of the things that get me down.

This. Stupid. Chair.

I didn't mind this chair before. It was a nice chair, a pretty chair. But then Miss Pingy and I became best of friends. 

As you can see, it has lovely curly ques on the top that tubing loves LOVES to get caught in. Almost every time I walk by, my tubing catches.

Although, the one time I did rip it all the way out, it was the doorknob on the door to my room, not the chair.

I still loathe this chair.

Dexcom Furlough

Keep holding on, cause you know we'll make it through, make it through. Just stay strong, cause you know I'm here for you, here for you. ~Avril Lavigne 


Alright, so I know it's only been a week, but after NaBloPoMo, I feel as though I have been absent from the blog world forever. I would, however, like you, fair blog reader, to know that I am officially done with classes as of 8:10 this morning. That is, if I get all my papers done, pass all my finals, get transfer issues figured out, and pay all my (library) fines by next Friday.

Yesterday I downloaded info from my Dexcom 7 plus for the third time in the about three weeks that I have been using it. I was pleasantly surprised that despite my instincts, the pump and the dexcom are allowing me better control, my averages in the past 3 weeks have been 154. Wow! Going from averages in the 180s to the 150s in three weeks is pretty huge in my book. I'll have my A1c tested again in three and a half weeks, and I'm crossing my fingers for something in the vicinity of 7.0, although anything 7.5 or under would be fine with me.

Now, on to the furlough. Why furlough? A furlough is a vacation you take by force. My biggest complaint with Dexcom is that out of the five sensors I've had, three have failed. Three! My most recent failure happened this morning. I checked my bloodsugar and reached for my dex roboticly like I do every morning, and saw this: ???. I've seen the ???'s before. I usually get them just before a sensor failure. Sure enough, as I was still gazing at the sensor in my six AM stupor, it beeped at me. "Sensor Failure," complete with the familiar, cute, pixelated  picture of the sensor inserter.

My new month's order of sensors won't get here til Tuesday. I can (and will) call and get this and the other failed sensors replaced, but they won't make it til Tuesday either, most likely. Therefore, I am on Dexcom furlough. Vacationing from my sensor before I am ready. Not being "paid" with the information I so value and had a blast playing with last night (the software is pretty great).

So here I am, on sensor furlough the weekend before finals. Not the best timing, Dex! But it's ok. I'll survive the old fashioned way - with 15-20 finger sticks a day.

(well, maybe ten).

EDIT: Post-posting this post, I received an email from my Dexcom rep saying they were overnighting me a sensor. She had read my blog. Creepy, Dexcom, but not unexpected. Dexcom really takes care of their customers, and that is one reason I chose Dexcom over another CGMS company. 

So I will have a sensor for finals week! HURRAY! 

Baby Steps...

I don't know what it is, but you got to do it. I don't know where to go, but you got to be there. I don't know where to fall, but I know that's it's comfortable where I don't know where it is. ~Rufus Wainright

After a 2 day break from blogging, I'm ready to resume my regular intermittent posting. I am immersed in my last three weeks of classes before I get my first bachelors (I graduate 2 weeks from Saturday, provided a bunch of stuff gets done and falls into place, I can't believe it!), so this post is just to let you know that until December 19th, posting will be, well, intermittent.

Yesterday I met with my Certified Diabetes Educator, and my Physician's Assistant. While I've had my issues with my CDE, I continue to see her just because I prefer having a CDE who is connected to my Endocrinologist, because they know how the other will react to changes in treatment as well as have an open line of communication, being that they're in the same office. However, CDE's approach to diabetes education has left me speechless and hopeless at times. I wish she knew better what it felt like to have diabetes. This is one of the reasons I've decided to seek a second bachelor's  degree in nutrition and become a CDE myself.

Anyway, I digress. I had never seen the Physician's Assistant before, and she was awesome! I only met with her briefly, but she was very informative and encouraging. I was frustrated that my averages were still high and that the graph Dex handed out to me yesterday morning was still seemingly all over the place, but they promised me I was making progress and encouraged me to take baby steps to meet my goal of an A1c below 7.

Baby Steps are very hard for me. It's why I've struggled with D, why I've struggled with school, and why I've struggled with my weight. I want instant results. Immediate results. Large results. But one lesson I'm learning is that that doesn't happen with Diabetes. Or life. Or anything. Haha...

So baby steps it is. I'm taking baby steps in my diabetes control, starting with attempting to not adjust my basal rates for one week after tweaking them. We tweaked them yesterday at the doctor's office, and I was required by the CDE and PhA to LEAVE THEM AT LEAST TIL NEXT WEDNESDAY. As well as call them with any changes I make at this time. This is also hard. I like being in control of my own disease and didn't feel as though this was necessary. However, they were able to see more clearly and make better adjustments then I would have at the appointment yesterday, therefore winning my trust, for now.

The next issue to tackle is weight. I gained 5 lbs since my last Endo appointment in September, putting me at my heaviest ever. My goal is overall health, not weight. I did get a week pass to the gym my dad is a member of and plan on using every day of that week to kick start my workout routine. I also may ask for a membership for Christmas, or see if it's covered by my insurance as preventative care. But that's not a baby step. 7 days of working out after 1-2 days a week since I stopped playing sports is NOT a baby step. But the baby step I am taking toward overall health is to try and get more regular rest. Right now I have trouble falling asleep before 2 or 3 am. My goal for the next couple weeks is to lay down, no computer, no book, no cell phone, at midnight (provided my studying for finals is done!), and lay there, hopefully convincing my body that it wants to sleep before 2am.

So here I go, posting goals on my blog again. This is what I mean about this blog being for myself. I enjoy having readers, few as there are, because you guys keep me accountable. And you put up with long rambling posts like this one (very much love you for that).

As much as I'd like to go on, this is forever long and I have to get back to school work. Peace.

(Oh and, Happy December. One of the most exciting months of the year. I LOVE IT).

Reflections of a Crazy Month

The past six months have been a whirlwind.

In May, I started my internship at George Washington Carver National Monument. By June, I'd started browsing diabetes blogs. Motivated, I started actually testing my blood sugar - 10 to 15 times a day. In July, I started my own d-blog. Since then, I have been working toward better diabetes care and meeting some amazing people in the process.

Today's diabetes community posts are going to be "this is what happened during American Diabetes Month, this is what happened to me during NaBloPoMo, I'm glad NaBloPoMo is over."

My ADM was different from a lot of folks. I radically changed my approach to diabetes care. While these changes had been in the works for months,  they finally came to a culmination this month. And it was fitting, considering the timing.

I guess my personal conclusion to ADM and NaBloPoMo 2009 is that NaBloPoMo was pretty easy for me (I like to talk, especially about myself - that's just who I am), but this new diabetes care was a challenge. It still is. It still will be, every day. When I wasn't in control of my diabetes, for nearly ten years, I didn't think having diabetes was hard. Now that I'm working to keep my numbers in line and working towards scoring that <7 A1C level, I know that it's not an easy disease to live with. But it's things like American Diabetes Month and the Diabetes Online Community that make it easier. Knowing there are people out there who know what I'm going through.

I sound like a broken record. These are all things I've been preaching all month, and all four months of the existence of my blog, really. December is going to go by fast. I probably won't be around much, I'll be attempting to get things in order to graduate (yes, that's still up in the air), and figuring out what I'm going to do after the 19th, where I"m going to live, and where I'm going to go to school. Come January I'll have a new life. I'll have new goals, personal, diabetes, academic, and career wise. I may even live in a different city. I can't believe the year is almost over. I can't believe I'll be turning 23 in February. This year, my life has changed dramatically, but it's nothing compared to what may come next year.

Bring it on. Diabetes and All.

Life in Pictures: Giant Fish

Do you see this? DO YOU SEE THIS?

Yes, it's Santa Claus. Yes, he's fishing for a giant fish. On top of a building. The original Bass Pro Shops.

This is where I freaking live. Redneckville.

(In Diabetes News, fish is a good thing to eat if you have diabetes. Don't expect Santa to bring you a giant catfish, though. Not sure if they have those on the North Pole.)

Saturday is No Diabetes Day - Dear Christmas Shopper

Dear Christmas Shopper,

This is a letter from a retail worker. There are some things I want you to remember this year.

First of all, remember that someone has to clean up the store that you mess up. Someone has to stay hours after the store closes in order to pick up all those shirts you knocked on the floor, losing time with our families that we'd like during the holidays.Unfortunately, we aren't allowed to take vacation in the winter. So please respect that even though you get time off this season, we're working hard for you.

Please don't get mad at us when we mess up a transaction. We're under a lot of pressure when we have long lines. I know you're busy, and you don't have a lot of time, but please realize we're doing the best that we can.

We are bugging you about charge cards and gift cards because we have to. Please at least listen to us when we explain to you the benifits. We don't want to ruin your credit, we are just trying to help our companies and keep our jobs. You might actually want one, if you listen.

Finally, please, please, remember that we do close at a certain time. I'm sorry that we're not open 24 hours during the holiday season. For that convienence, please shop at wal-mart. Again, we'd like to get home and spend time with our families.

Smile at the check out girl this season. If the guy working in electronics does a particularly good job helping you, say something to his manager. Remember the Reason for the season. Remember to Love. Remember, it's Christmas.


Love,

Your local retail worker.

A Whimsical Dia-Fab Friday

Today is Friday. That means it's shout out day. I am really excited about today's shout out. I don't think she expects it at all. Last week, I asked Kerri before I posted about her, and that will be my usual procedure. But I know that this week's person reads my blog every day, and I wanted to surprise her, because I want her to know just how special she is.

Barbara Campbell and I actually were only twittering back and forth for a couple of days before we met in person. At the Samuel L Rodgers Lunch and Learn World Diabetes Day celebration in Kansas City, where I also met Cherise, Andrea, Scott, and Bob, I met this amazing woman. I could tell just by talking to her that she was strong and that she was confident in her diabetes control, as well as her life. We ate lunch at the same table, and she shared that she and her husband had put blue lights in their porch lights in honor of World Diabetes Day. Awesome, never even thought of it!

She also does amazing things in her community. She's involved in her church, claims herself as a Christian before anything (which gets a TON of respect from me), she's an army mom, and she participates in a project called Operation Write Home, which enables soldiers to keep in touch with their loved ones while overseas.Big things, I tell you, Big Things! Not to mention that she and I connect on a scrapbooking level.

What I didn't know about her until after the lunchon, when four of us d-bloggers were chatting, was that she was only diagnosed last July. I couln't believe how confident she seemed! And from her tweets I can see it even more. She knows how to control her blood sugars without meds or insulin - and that my friends is an awesome power, unfortunatly reserved for type 2's only. But that's ok, type 1's can learn a lot from type 2's.

What really strikes me is her heart as a person. She is so caring. She even offered to let me stay with her next time I am in Kansas City. This was on the first day we met! Babs, you are an amazing example of a strong Diazon living with diabetes.


Babs' Website: MyWhimsey
(If you don't read it, you need to)

Babs' Twitter Page: BabsCampbell
(If you don't follow her, you need to!)