Baby Steps...

I don't know what it is, but you got to do it. I don't know where to go, but you got to be there. I don't know where to fall, but I know that's it's comfortable where I don't know where it is. ~Rufus Wainright

After a 2 day break from blogging, I'm ready to resume my regular intermittent posting. I am immersed in my last three weeks of classes before I get my first bachelors (I graduate 2 weeks from Saturday, provided a bunch of stuff gets done and falls into place, I can't believe it!), so this post is just to let you know that until December 19th, posting will be, well, intermittent.

Yesterday I met with my Certified Diabetes Educator, and my Physician's Assistant. While I've had my issues with my CDE, I continue to see her just because I prefer having a CDE who is connected to my Endocrinologist, because they know how the other will react to changes in treatment as well as have an open line of communication, being that they're in the same office. However, CDE's approach to diabetes education has left me speechless and hopeless at times. I wish she knew better what it felt like to have diabetes. This is one of the reasons I've decided to seek a second bachelor's  degree in nutrition and become a CDE myself.

Anyway, I digress. I had never seen the Physician's Assistant before, and she was awesome! I only met with her briefly, but she was very informative and encouraging. I was frustrated that my averages were still high and that the graph Dex handed out to me yesterday morning was still seemingly all over the place, but they promised me I was making progress and encouraged me to take baby steps to meet my goal of an A1c below 7.

Baby Steps are very hard for me. It's why I've struggled with D, why I've struggled with school, and why I've struggled with my weight. I want instant results. Immediate results. Large results. But one lesson I'm learning is that that doesn't happen with Diabetes. Or life. Or anything. Haha...

So baby steps it is. I'm taking baby steps in my diabetes control, starting with attempting to not adjust my basal rates for one week after tweaking them. We tweaked them yesterday at the doctor's office, and I was required by the CDE and PhA to LEAVE THEM AT LEAST TIL NEXT WEDNESDAY. As well as call them with any changes I make at this time. This is also hard. I like being in control of my own disease and didn't feel as though this was necessary. However, they were able to see more clearly and make better adjustments then I would have at the appointment yesterday, therefore winning my trust, for now.

The next issue to tackle is weight. I gained 5 lbs since my last Endo appointment in September, putting me at my heaviest ever. My goal is overall health, not weight. I did get a week pass to the gym my dad is a member of and plan on using every day of that week to kick start my workout routine. I also may ask for a membership for Christmas, or see if it's covered by my insurance as preventative care. But that's not a baby step. 7 days of working out after 1-2 days a week since I stopped playing sports is NOT a baby step. But the baby step I am taking toward overall health is to try and get more regular rest. Right now I have trouble falling asleep before 2 or 3 am. My goal for the next couple weeks is to lay down, no computer, no book, no cell phone, at midnight (provided my studying for finals is done!), and lay there, hopefully convincing my body that it wants to sleep before 2am.

So here I go, posting goals on my blog again. This is what I mean about this blog being for myself. I enjoy having readers, few as there are, because you guys keep me accountable. And you put up with long rambling posts like this one (very much love you for that).

As much as I'd like to go on, this is forever long and I have to get back to school work. Peace.

(Oh and, Happy December. One of the most exciting months of the year. I LOVE IT).