I owe you guys two newly dx week posts. I promise to catch up on them.
Meanwhile, here is a Sunday Update in Vlog form.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Newly Dx Week: Post 2
Diagnosis: Type 1 diabetes.
My dad was the one in denial. He took me over to a family friend's house. This friend had type 2 diabetes. He pricked my finger and tested my blood glucose levels. The numbers showed 400+. "Yeah, that's too high." Little did I know how too high it was.
By the time we arrived at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, my sugar had fallen to around 300. I don't remember much about getting to the hospital. I barely remember being taught how to give myself a shot and given a list of menu items to pick for my dinner. I remember asking my dad to bring me a blanket from home when he went back that evening (mom stayed with me). I remember exploring the toy room and reading Baby Sitters Club books. I remembered enjoying the hospital and making friends with other children on my hall. There were at least 2 others who had just been diagnosed with diabetes. One was an 18 month old toddler. I remember his screams as the pricked his finger.
For the first couple years, the doctors praised my progress. My a1c's fell from 13.4 to 9 to 6 within the first 3 months. They said I was doing better than most people my age did. Then, I hit puberty (late, thanks, diabetes). My numbers shot up. And something else happened. Diabetes Denial.
There are five stages to grief, including disease acceptance. Denial, Fear, Anger, Grief, and Acceptance. I think at first I felt fear. It moved into a combination of anger and denial that would stay with me for about ten years. To Be Continued.
My dad was the one in denial. He took me over to a family friend's house. This friend had type 2 diabetes. He pricked my finger and tested my blood glucose levels. The numbers showed 400+. "Yeah, that's too high." Little did I know how too high it was.
By the time we arrived at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, my sugar had fallen to around 300. I don't remember much about getting to the hospital. I barely remember being taught how to give myself a shot and given a list of menu items to pick for my dinner. I remember asking my dad to bring me a blanket from home when he went back that evening (mom stayed with me). I remember exploring the toy room and reading Baby Sitters Club books. I remembered enjoying the hospital and making friends with other children on my hall. There were at least 2 others who had just been diagnosed with diabetes. One was an 18 month old toddler. I remember his screams as the pricked his finger.
For the first couple years, the doctors praised my progress. My a1c's fell from 13.4 to 9 to 6 within the first 3 months. They said I was doing better than most people my age did. Then, I hit puberty (late, thanks, diabetes). My numbers shot up. And something else happened. Diabetes Denial.
There are five stages to grief, including disease acceptance. Denial, Fear, Anger, Grief, and Acceptance. I think at first I felt fear. It moved into a combination of anger and denial that would stay with me for about ten years. To Be Continued.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Way Back Wednesday... Symptoms of Diabetes...
A couple weeks ago, I started my own, more different version of Wayback Wednesday. Since I've only been d-blogging since this past July, the traditional version of Wayback Wednesday that I've witnessed on sites like DiabetesMine and Diabetesaliciousness doesn't really apply to me yet. So today, in honor of Diabetes Daily's Newly Diagnosed Week, I'm going to go "way back" to about eleven years ago and dialogue my personal diagnosis story.
I was always a chunky kid, so when people started asking me if I'd lost weight I felt pretty flattered. Maybe I was growing into a tall, beautiful, skinny young woman! My dance teacher was the first to notice my weight loss, since she usually saw me in skin-tight leotards and had an idea of how my body looked, since it was her job to help me train it.
"You must just be getting taller and thinning out." I noticed a hint of pride in her voice. The first few pounds probably made her hopeful that the short, chubby girl would one day have a dancer's body. But, it wasn't just 10 pounds. It wasn't just twenty pounds. I was getting thinner, and thinner, and thinner.
Other people were starting to notice too. One of my mom's fellow soccer moms asked her if I was anorexic one day after watching me play in my now-over sized jersey and looking fatigued the entire time. Anorexic, at 11? My coach had even moved me from mid-field, where I had been quick and an asset to the team, to defender, where I could spend half the game standing still and simply kick the ball off to a midfielder. Even he had noticed my fatigue.
What I noticed was the thirst. My family had just gotten a water cooler, the kind with the big jug on top that reminds you of office-based comedy TV shows. My mom thought I was drinking so much water because I thought the cooler was neat. I was enjoying trips to the water fountain during the school day way too much. I thought that water was the best tasting thing in the world.
My fifth grade teacher noticed how often I was asking to go to the bathroom. I was going between five and six times a day. She told my mom, "either she is really bored in class or something is wrong with her. You might get her tested for a bladder infection or diabetes."
She was right, but we didn't find out until the following school year.
The primary care physician my mom took me to didn't want to test me for type 1 diabetes, despite the list of symptoms my mom gave him and my weight (I was 5'2 and weighed about 80 lbs). I was more concerned about the headaches I was having. "I think I need allergy medicine," I told him. My mom was vigilant. She said, "Please give her a blood test for diabetes." The doctor followed her request and that was the first day I visited the "vampires" - aka the lab, with the long needles and the tubes filled with blood. I don't think I was that scared by it because I don't remember being upset.
The last thing I remember before going to the hospital the next day was eating a special sucker I had won in class as I walked home from school and thinking, "This may be the last sugar you ever eat."
Me at 13, proud PWD member of the Drexel High School Dance Team
To be continued on Thursday and look for these posts later this week:
Upcoming posts for newly Dx Week:
-Thursday: The Diagnoses
-Friday: Disease Denial, part three of my journey
-Saturday: A Wake-Up Call, part four of my journey
-Sunday: Looking to the future: The journey never ends
Stay Tuned!
I was always a chunky kid, so when people started asking me if I'd lost weight I felt pretty flattered. Maybe I was growing into a tall, beautiful, skinny young woman! My dance teacher was the first to notice my weight loss, since she usually saw me in skin-tight leotards and had an idea of how my body looked, since it was her job to help me train it.
"You must just be getting taller and thinning out." I noticed a hint of pride in her voice. The first few pounds probably made her hopeful that the short, chubby girl would one day have a dancer's body. But, it wasn't just 10 pounds. It wasn't just twenty pounds. I was getting thinner, and thinner, and thinner.
Other people were starting to notice too. One of my mom's fellow soccer moms asked her if I was anorexic one day after watching me play in my now-over sized jersey and looking fatigued the entire time. Anorexic, at 11? My coach had even moved me from mid-field, where I had been quick and an asset to the team, to defender, where I could spend half the game standing still and simply kick the ball off to a midfielder. Even he had noticed my fatigue.
What I noticed was the thirst. My family had just gotten a water cooler, the kind with the big jug on top that reminds you of office-based comedy TV shows. My mom thought I was drinking so much water because I thought the cooler was neat. I was enjoying trips to the water fountain during the school day way too much. I thought that water was the best tasting thing in the world.
My fifth grade teacher noticed how often I was asking to go to the bathroom. I was going between five and six times a day. She told my mom, "either she is really bored in class or something is wrong with her. You might get her tested for a bladder infection or diabetes."
She was right, but we didn't find out until the following school year.
The primary care physician my mom took me to didn't want to test me for type 1 diabetes, despite the list of symptoms my mom gave him and my weight (I was 5'2 and weighed about 80 lbs). I was more concerned about the headaches I was having. "I think I need allergy medicine," I told him. My mom was vigilant. She said, "Please give her a blood test for diabetes." The doctor followed her request and that was the first day I visited the "vampires" - aka the lab, with the long needles and the tubes filled with blood. I don't think I was that scared by it because I don't remember being upset.
The last thing I remember before going to the hospital the next day was eating a special sucker I had won in class as I walked home from school and thinking, "This may be the last sugar you ever eat."
Me at 13, proud PWD member of the Drexel High School Dance Team
To be continued on Thursday and look for these posts later this week:
Upcoming posts for newly Dx Week:
-Thursday: The Diagnoses
-Friday: Disease Denial, part three of my journey
-Saturday: A Wake-Up Call, part four of my journey
-Sunday: Looking to the future: The journey never ends
Stay Tuned!
Monday, September 21, 2009
No Excuses. Just Observations.
A few months ago, I visited the dietitian in my endo's clinic for the first time. I didn't really like her, but she did tell me something.
"Diabetics have obstacles to overcome when losing weight, like low blood sugar."
I remember thinking that that was BS. Why on earth would lows prevent me from losing weight? At the time, I was running between 200 and 240 most of the time and never really worried about lows. I had them sometimes, but almost never.
Last night, I found out.
It was mostly my fault. I should have worked out earlier in the day. I had a plan, I didn't stick to it.
Well, I finally did convince myself to get on the treadmill at about 11 pm. But, eager to avoid yesterday's drama, I made the smart decision to check my blood sugar first.
73.
One juice box, some peanuts, and half a cup of milk, and 20 minutes later, I was only up to 81.
I waited another 20 minutes. 85.
*sigh* now, at 20 til midnight, I decided my plans for working out were not going to happen. I did some stretches and called it a night.
Grr to you, diabetes. Grr to you for ruining my workout plans.
(And to just put icing on my metaphorical cake, I fell asleep at 103 and woke up at 241.)
"Diabetics have obstacles to overcome when losing weight, like low blood sugar."
I remember thinking that that was BS. Why on earth would lows prevent me from losing weight? At the time, I was running between 200 and 240 most of the time and never really worried about lows. I had them sometimes, but almost never.
Last night, I found out.
It was mostly my fault. I should have worked out earlier in the day. I had a plan, I didn't stick to it.
Well, I finally did convince myself to get on the treadmill at about 11 pm. But, eager to avoid yesterday's drama, I made the smart decision to check my blood sugar first.
73.
One juice box, some peanuts, and half a cup of milk, and 20 minutes later, I was only up to 81.
I waited another 20 minutes. 85.
*sigh* now, at 20 til midnight, I decided my plans for working out were not going to happen. I did some stretches and called it a night.
Grr to you, diabetes. Grr to you for ruining my workout plans.
(And to just put icing on my metaphorical cake, I fell asleep at 103 and woke up at 241.)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Weight Loss check-in - Week 1
Starting Weight: 233 lbs
Goal Weight: 133 lbs
I am going to start doing weight loss check ins on Saturday night/Sunday morning/afternoons. That means posting a blog do the d-blog about how my personal program is going, posting weekly goals, posting my weekly weigh-in (which will happen on Sunday mornings, so no weight tonight), and updating you guys on the progress for each weekly goals.
I have not been trying so far. I was disappointed to find when I went to the doctor that I weigh the exact same as I weighed 5 months ago. Major bummer. I was expecting at least a 5 pound change, seeing as how I have been eating less, and better. So, my a1c and my weight were stagnant. That's no good. I don't like it!
New plan. New regimen. New time!
I can do it this time. It's for my health. It's for my heart. It's for my future family. It's for me.
This weeks goals include:
-cardio every day (yes, EVERY day! a butt kick to get started)
-weight training on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday
-Eat 4-5 meals a day, each with a fruit or vege and a protein.
-Get at least 7 hours of sleep every night
I will chart my daily progress in my personal blog.
Goal Weight: 133 lbs
I am going to start doing weight loss check ins on Saturday night/Sunday morning/afternoons. That means posting a blog do the d-blog about how my personal program is going, posting weekly goals, posting my weekly weigh-in (which will happen on Sunday mornings, so no weight tonight), and updating you guys on the progress for each weekly goals.
I have not been trying so far. I was disappointed to find when I went to the doctor that I weigh the exact same as I weighed 5 months ago. Major bummer. I was expecting at least a 5 pound change, seeing as how I have been eating less, and better. So, my a1c and my weight were stagnant. That's no good. I don't like it!
New plan. New regimen. New time!
I can do it this time. It's for my health. It's for my heart. It's for my future family. It's for me.
This weeks goals include:
-cardio every day (yes, EVERY day! a butt kick to get started)
-weight training on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday
-Eat 4-5 meals a day, each with a fruit or vege and a protein.
-Get at least 7 hours of sleep every night
I will chart my daily progress in my personal blog.
Friday, September 18, 2009
PWD's, UNITE
D O C
Diabetes
Online
Community
"Doc" - like the dwarf?
The DOC has become an integral part of my diabetes care in just a few short months.
It all started because I was serving endless front desk shifts at my internship at George Washington Carver National Monument. A "Front Desk Shift" is where you sit at the front desk for four to eight hours at a time and greet visitors as they come inside. Luckily, during the long, boring days when there aren't many visitors (not every day, only some) you can get on the computer! YEAH!
So during those long, boring days I discovered Google Reader. Which lead me to a bundle called "Diabetes." Which lead me to Diabetes Daily, Diabetes Mine, and Six Until Me, and their plethora of excellent blogs.
This lead me to start my own diabetes blog (which you happen to be reading). Somehow I started following all these people on twitter, which lead me to other networking and informational sites like tudiabetes, diabetic rockstar, dlife, and 1happydiabetic.
It's a process. You have to battle diabetes every day. A1c's don't fall 1 percent in between two 3 month visits. It takes lots of time and lots of attention to detail. And the Diabetes Online Community provides the support I need. I know I can recieve encouragement, information, and a smack on the head from my DOC friends if I need it. I know that between the four social media sites listed above, I can find close to 20,000 resources in the form of people just like me who use their sites.
Thank you, DOC. You Rock.
PWD's, UNITE!
THANK YOU, PWDS FOR WANTING TO FIND MORE INFORMATION ON YOUR DIABETES, OR TO HELP OTHERS WITH DIABETES - YOU ROCK
THANK YOU, TO THE FOUNDERS OF MY FAVORITE DIABETES WEBSITES - I WON'T LIST YOUR NAMES, GOODNESS KNOWS I'LL GET THEM WRONG OR FORGET SOMEONE- BUT YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE - YOU ROCK
THANK YOU, AL GORE FOR INVENTING THE INTERNET- OH WAIT -
THANK YOU, INTERNET FAIRIES, FOR MAKING THE DOC POSSIBLE - YOU ROCK
NO THANKS TO YOU, DIABETES - YOU DON'T SO MUCH ROCK - BUT YOU GIVE US SOMETHING TO PUT UP WITH - A REASON TO UNITE
PWD'S, UNITE!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
A Visit with Dr. M.
I got to see Dr. M. yesterday and the appointment went way better than expected.
In the past, Dr. M. has been sub-par. I switched to her when my time with my traveling peds endo expired (aka when I turned 17) because of numerous praises from some of her diabetes patients in my church. I expected miracles. I got four years of A1cs in the 8 and 9 percents.
In retrospect, I know this was my own doing. Diabetes, I have learned, is a disease we have to handle ourselves and the doctor is merely there to guide us. But I must say, after my last few visits, I have been left questioning my choice of doctors and thinking about endo-shopping.
Dr. M redeemed herself on Wednesday. After reading this article at Diabetes Mine, I am certain it's because she was much happier that I arrived 1. with a weeks worth of blood sugar and insulin dose logs, 2. with ideas on how to improve my self-care (pump and sensor) and 3. educated on which pump and sensor I wanted to try, as well as what to expect and not expect from these devices. Never before have I arrived so ready for an appointment. Turns out she's a good doctor when I'm a good patient.
The appointment started out with a disappointment. When the medical assistant gal weighed me, I weighed almost the exact same as I did five months ago. What a bummer. I'd been trying really hard to eat better. Oh, well. Throwing in exercise and trying again in 4 months. Next was vitals. At my urgent care appointment a few weeks ago, my BP was 140/102. Now as someone with a family history of high blood pressure, this concerned me. The nurse at UC assured me it was probably just from being sick and perhaps from some of the OTC meds I had been taking. She was right. BP was normal at the endo's.
At any rate, the rest of the visit went smoothly. Even though my appointment was at 12:15 and she didn't show up in my exam room until 12:50, it didn't feel like I had been waiting that long. Even though I was fighting BG's in the 200's and starving because I still hadn't eaten (bad sarah), I remained positive and didn't freak out. She set me up with the Certified Diabetes Educator in her office and seemed excited to get me on a pump.
In the past, I have asked about pumping and was either shot down or met with a less than excited "ho hum here's the cde's number, call her." Never before did she write on my check out sheet for the secretary to actually SCHEDULE me an appointment upon my exit from the office. I knew I wasn't ready before. If I was, I would have been more pro-active. Dr. M knew I wasn't too. But now we are both ready. 13 days til the appointment. Anxiety!
Being a good diabetes patient has paid off. My body feels a lot better when my a1c is in the 7's than it did when it was in the 8's and 9's. M assured me that I didn't need a 5.5 a1c to get pregnant (phew), a goal I have for the next 5-8 years. Below six, she said. My fears are relieved. That's not going to keep me from hitting my goal of 6.3 (a goal she said was probably too low, but we'll see).
That's all for today. When I read Chris's post today at "A Consequence of Hypoglycemia", I had to laugh. All of my blogs are stream of consciousness.
In the past, Dr. M. has been sub-par. I switched to her when my time with my traveling peds endo expired (aka when I turned 17) because of numerous praises from some of her diabetes patients in my church. I expected miracles. I got four years of A1cs in the 8 and 9 percents.
In retrospect, I know this was my own doing. Diabetes, I have learned, is a disease we have to handle ourselves and the doctor is merely there to guide us. But I must say, after my last few visits, I have been left questioning my choice of doctors and thinking about endo-shopping.
Dr. M redeemed herself on Wednesday. After reading this article at Diabetes Mine, I am certain it's because she was much happier that I arrived 1. with a weeks worth of blood sugar and insulin dose logs, 2. with ideas on how to improve my self-care (pump and sensor) and 3. educated on which pump and sensor I wanted to try, as well as what to expect and not expect from these devices. Never before have I arrived so ready for an appointment. Turns out she's a good doctor when I'm a good patient.
The appointment started out with a disappointment. When the medical assistant gal weighed me, I weighed almost the exact same as I did five months ago. What a bummer. I'd been trying really hard to eat better. Oh, well. Throwing in exercise and trying again in 4 months. Next was vitals. At my urgent care appointment a few weeks ago, my BP was 140/102. Now as someone with a family history of high blood pressure, this concerned me. The nurse at UC assured me it was probably just from being sick and perhaps from some of the OTC meds I had been taking. She was right. BP was normal at the endo's.
At any rate, the rest of the visit went smoothly. Even though my appointment was at 12:15 and she didn't show up in my exam room until 12:50, it didn't feel like I had been waiting that long. Even though I was fighting BG's in the 200's and starving because I still hadn't eaten (bad sarah), I remained positive and didn't freak out. She set me up with the Certified Diabetes Educator in her office and seemed excited to get me on a pump.
In the past, I have asked about pumping and was either shot down or met with a less than excited "ho hum here's the cde's number, call her." Never before did she write on my check out sheet for the secretary to actually SCHEDULE me an appointment upon my exit from the office. I knew I wasn't ready before. If I was, I would have been more pro-active. Dr. M knew I wasn't too. But now we are both ready. 13 days til the appointment. Anxiety!
Being a good diabetes patient has paid off. My body feels a lot better when my a1c is in the 7's than it did when it was in the 8's and 9's. M assured me that I didn't need a 5.5 a1c to get pregnant (phew), a goal I have for the next 5-8 years. Below six, she said. My fears are relieved. That's not going to keep me from hitting my goal of 6.3 (a goal she said was probably too low, but we'll see).
That's all for today. When I read Chris's post today at "A Consequence of Hypoglycemia", I had to laugh. All of my blogs are stream of consciousness.
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