Adventures of Diabolical Diabetty

Showing Vanessa

2011-10-28T17:42:00.000-07:00

New Blog Link

2010-01-25T05:00:00.000-08:00

If you're here looking for the PWDPK, she has moved. You can find her at a new blog called Sarahndipity on Wordpress:

http://sajabla.wordpress.com/

I scheduled the post for 7am CST on Monday, January 25. If it didn't post then, something is screwy. I hope it works.

Announcement: Moving

2010-01-22T08:04:00.000-08:00

This will be my last post at Blogspot. After much research and deliberation, I've decided to move my blog to WordPress. The new site isn't up and running yet, but it should be by Monday, at which point I will release the URL and you can visit and change out your RSS feeds.

Thanks for your love and support the past six months. I can't believe what the PWDPK has become and where I am going.

Endo Report

2010-01-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had a rather productive visit with my endo.

First of all, I found out that I have lowered my a1c by 0.4%! My current (as of last wednesday) a1c is 7.5%! I am very estatic about this number. My mom says she thinks this is the lowest I have ever been! My dad says he thinks I was at 6.8 once. Haha, I don't remember.

Second of all, Dr. M said she thinks that my leg pain and numbness sounds like inflamatory problems. She suggusted I try taking advil before exercising and waiting 30 minutes. She said that I probably have some sort of shin splint problem. She said it doesn't sound like neropathy.

Finally, we talked about insulin resistance. She said that my basals arent' actually that high and that it could be a lot worse. She said that she woulnd't worry, and that of course losing weight (which btw I lost 4 lbs!!) would help. We also talked about an exercise program and things that could help me stick with it.

All in all, a very satisfying day!

Tomorrow I have a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT (hint: I'm jumping on the bandwagon) so watch out!

Fears and Failures.

2010-01-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

OK, so my commitment to blogging daily has completely sidetracked so far. Between 12 hours of school and working 20 hours a week, I have been a little bogged down.

So that was fail number 1.

Fail number two I hesitate to even blog about. It's because it's born out of diabetes guilt. Diabetes guilt is like a plastic bag shoved over your head. It suffocates you, constricting your airways until you drown. I don't know if I can describe the precise feeling. I have been dealing with it this week as I come up on my next lab appointment and doctors appointment, where I will learn if my a1c has improved since my last visit (7.9). My guess? My guess is no. In fact, I won't be surprised if I'm back into the 8's, even though I have started using Dexcom and the Animas Ping pump since then. I did really well for a while, but things always get the better of me. I need to start picking just one habit to work on each week or month or even year. I don't know, I feel as if I was supposed to do better on these machines and I haven't been. I was without dexcom for a couple weeks, and didn't test enough then, and now feel like i'm swimming uphill to "catch up."

I got really scared today. I'm not afraid to share this. I want people to know what happens, what diabetics fear and experience. I was walking back to my car after class, a long way across campus, and my feet went numb. I've been dealing with lower leg pain while walking for a few years now, but never have they gone numb like this while I was walking. OK, they weren't completely numb, but they were very tingly and had that "asleep" feeling.

OK, so, I am 22. And now I am scared I’ll lose one or both feet by the time I am 35. I am freaked out by this beyond belief.

I'm so glad I have a doctor's appointment next week. Please, prayers that I can covey what I want to say and get some honest feedback from her, and that we can get this feet problem taken care of so I can live a long, healthy, happy, wheelchair free life.

(I am so scared).

New Job

2010-01-05T12:04:00.000-08:00

As I announced on Twitter yesterday, I got the job that I interveiwed for yesterday. I'm pretty hyped about it, although nervous about entering the "real" world, with an office and everything. It's super exciting! Work and diabetes are interesting to manage. I've held several different types of jobs and the subject is always touchy, but this time it will hopefully be less so. The person who refrenced me for the job already works there, and he is T1 as well. So, when the boss man noticed we both chew our upper lip, he said, "Is that a diabetic thing?" (I think he was joking).

At any rate, I expect to remain professional and not give lots of details about my job on my blog, other than the occasional diabetes shinanigans. This is going to be a "growing up" period for me, learning how to work in the professional world. I think it will be good and sad.

What was your first "real" job, and how did you have to adjust? If you had diabetes then, has it created any memorable, good or bad, moments in your workplace?

The Interview

2010-01-04T06:29:00.000-08:00

Today is the day that I begin my M-F blog posting for the year. I'm challenging myself to blog five days a week in an effort to develop myself as a blogger. I'm also challenging myself to keep up with my fellow bloggers this year.

Today I have an interview for a new job in approximately one hour. In honor of my job interview, and since I don't have a lot of time to write this post, here is an entertaining remake of the Homestar Runner short:

"The Interview"

You can see the actual short here, complete with animation.If you're unfamiliar with Homestar Runner and into stupid, simple, ridiculous, clean comedy, explore the site! It kept me and my friends entertained for hours in high school and my best friend and I still quote it quite frequently.

Til next time, DOCites

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

My letter to myself:

Welcome to 2010.

Your 20-something decade.

Imagine how different your life will be 10 years from now...

This will be your healthy decade - so you live to see 32 and the year 2020.

You Can Do It.

<3 - your 22 year old self

Stereotypical Year In Review

2009-12-31T07:00:00.000-08:00

I am not going to post a month by month recap of the boring events of my life. For one, you probably don't want to read it, and for two, I really don't want to relive some of the moments. But for the bad that 2009 brought, it certainly did bring some good. I had a fabulous internship last summer. I graduated from college. I started using Miss Pingy, the insulin pump, and Dexter the CGMS. And of course, I started blogging and joined the DOC.

I think that looking back is healthy, but I think that looking forward is more important. We can't change what happened in the past. It happened, it's over, regrets and worries only add stress to our lives. We can only look ahead and figure out what we plan on doing differently the next time. Next time, I'm going to own the world. I've got some exciting opportunities coming up this year. I have a new school to go to with a new major to pursue. I have an opportunity on the horizon for Big Things to happen in my professional life. I have never been closer to my boyfriend, and we will be having our 3 year anniversary this year. I can only hope and daydream about how that will turn out.

2010 will be a Big Year. It may be fantastic or it may be a disaster. The only thing we have to remember is that we shape our own destiny. Our choices shape who we become. I want to control my life this time. I want to succeed.

Early Resolutions.

2009-12-30T07:10:00.000-08:00

I got a new Wii game.

First of all, my family got a Wii for Christmas to share. So I am not borrowing Davids Wii anymore. Chances are he'll move somewhere far away soon (:( ), meaning he'd take the Wii with him far away from me. Anyhow, that's not an issue anymore, because he got me a new game.

Its called EA Sports Active, done by the EA people who do a lot of sports games for various video game systems. It is pretty intense, more intese than Wii Fit (which we are getting on January 8th). I have used it for 3 days now and so far I really like it. The "running" is supposed to be in place like the Wii Fit, but I didn't like that so I just move to the treadmill, which is in front of the TV anyway. I love this! I have been actually running on the treadmill, when before I never put the speed higher than a brisk walk.

My resolutions started a week early this year. I am still scared. I am scared of having a heart attack in my 30's. I want to do everything I can to avoid heart disease. I also want to get organized and do some growing up this year. I'm turning 23, I'm a college grad, and if everything works out I may be out of retail in the next few months.

I'm even starting school again, enrolling in a Nutrition/Dietetics program. That means that once completed, I can apply for my RD certification and then begin the process of becoming a Certified Diabetes Educator, something I have been feeling called to do since starting to take care of my self better.

Bring on 2010. I'm ready!

Sickness and no Dexcom sensors

2009-12-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

I've been a little AWOL, spending time with my boyfriend, family, and friends and doing all the Christmas things that my family does each year, working the retail Christmas curcit and having a blast shopping with my friends. In this lovely progression of the season I managed to catch a cold from my brother.

Usually colds and flu don't mess with my blood sugar, but combine the cold with yummy holiday food and you have a recipe for 300+ blood glucose numbers.

I am also san dexcom. About a week ago I went to put in a new sensor and my two reserve sensors weren't where I left them. I have scowered my house and dispite my mother's objections, I have determined that they somehow got thrown away or so misplaced that they are unfindable (the black hole that eats socks somehow found a big fed ex box with sensors in it). So, I can't order new sensors until mid-January. Sans Dexcom, again.

The moral of the story is to put your sensors in a safe place, not against the wall in the living room in the fed ex box that could get mistaken for trash. Also, don't get sick during the holidays.

Another lesson I learned this week was to order pump supplies ahead of time. We'll see how that one pans out.

I hope you and yours had a safe and happy Christmas dispite the giant blizzard that swept most of the midwest, and that you have a safe and high BG free New Years Day.

Christmastime is here

2009-12-22T10:51:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's only three days until Christmas. It really snuck up on me this year. I am not even finished shopping yet. Between Graduation, which was Saturday, finishing up finals, and working 10-20 hours a week in retail on top of it all, I was really surprised yesterday when I realized Christmas was in five days and I had done almost no Christmas shopping. Luckily, my list isn't too long. I am going to exchange gifts with friends after Christmas, so I still have time to work on that. David and I decided to wait until we both had steady jobs to think about doing gifts. We may do something big for each other around Valentines day. I did buy him a rubix cube with KU stickers instead of the standard solid colors on it. Other than that, I just had my parents and my two brothers to shop for. My older-younger brother asked for a movie that I have been unable to find and may have to order on amazon and give him a homemade card to stand in as a gift til it comes in. That's what I get for waiting. Haha.

What I really wanted to write about is how much I let my diabetes care slide this time of year. It was my goal for my a1c to be below 7.5 by the time I visit my Endo on January 20. I was well aware I would have to muddle through Thanksgiving and Christmas before I got to that point, but I thought I could handle it. I seem to have overestimated myself. I forgot that with people coming home, and having more free time, that everyone would want to go out to eat. I forgot that in the winter, I crave meat and bread and potatoes. I forgot that my house would be filled with homemade treats all month, thanks to my Pastor Dad and parishioners looking for cheap presents to show their appreciation for his hard work.

I forgot how hard it is to make it through the holiday season with D!

What do you do to keep yourself on the right track during the holiday season?

Edumacated.

2009-12-17T09:16:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note to announce to the world that I am officially finished with my college education. All I have to do now is enroll in one hour next semester ("independent study" for work I've already done) and fight with the registrar about one credit transferring. I should get my degree in the mail in June, but I get to walk this Saturday.

Excited.

Now that finals are over, I will resume the normal 2-5 posts a week schedule. I'm going to try to come up with a more firm posting schedule (like maybe MWF) and creative ways to come up with solid posts. I really want my blog to be personal and for me, but I also want it to help other people who happen upon it.

Off to conqur the world as a college grad

Til next time, DOCites

The Evil Chair

2009-12-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

My one nemisis. One of the things that get me down.

This. Stupid. Chair.

I didn't mind this chair before. It was a nice chair, a pretty chair. But then Miss Pingy and I became best of friends.

As you can see, it has lovely curly ques on the top that tubing loves LOVES to get caught in. Almost every time I walk by, my tubing catches.

Although, the one time I did rip it all the way out, it was the doorknob on the door to my room, not the chair.

I still loathe this chair.

Dexcom Furlough

2009-12-10T06:33:00.000-08:00

Keep holding on, cause you know we'll make it through, make it through. Just stay strong, cause you know I'm here for you, here for you. ~Avril Lavigne

Alright, so I know it's only been a week, but after NaBloPoMo, I feel as though I have been absent from the blog world forever. I would, however, like you, fair blog reader, to know that I am officially done with classes as of 8:10 this morning. That is, if I get all my papers done, pass all my finals, get transfer issues figured out, and pay all my (library) fines by next Friday.

Yesterday I downloaded info from my Dexcom 7 plus for the third time in the about three weeks that I have been using it. I was pleasantly surprised that despite my instincts, the pump and the dexcom are allowing me better control, my averages in the past 3 weeks have been 154. Wow! Going from averages in the 180s to the 150s in three weeks is pretty huge in my book. I'll have my A1c tested again in three and a half weeks, and I'm crossing my fingers for something in the vicinity of 7.0, although anything 7.5 or under would be fine with me.

Now, on to the furlough. Why furlough? A furlough is a vacation you take by force. My biggest complaint with Dexcom is that out of the five sensors I've had, three have failed. Three! My most recent failure happened this morning. I checked my bloodsugar and reached for my dex roboticly like I do every morning, and saw this: ???. I've seen the ???'s before. I usually get them just before a sensor failure. Sure enough, as I was still gazing at the sensor in my six AM stupor, it beeped at me. "Sensor Failure," complete with the familiar, cute, pixelated picture of the sensor inserter.

My new month's order of sensors won't get here til Tuesday. I can (and will) call and get this and the other failed sensors replaced, but they won't make it til Tuesday either, most likely. Therefore, I am on Dexcom furlough. Vacationing from my sensor before I am ready. Not being "paid" with the information I so value and had a blast playing with last night (the software is pretty great).

So here I am, on sensor furlough the weekend before finals. Not the best timing, Dex! But it's ok. I'll survive the old fashioned way - with 15-20 finger sticks a day.

(well, maybe ten).

EDIT: Post-posting this post, I received an email from my Dexcom rep saying they were overnighting me a sensor. She had read my blog. Creepy, Dexcom, but not unexpected. Dexcom really takes care of their customers, and that is one reason I chose Dexcom over another CGMS company.

So I will have a sensor for finals week! HURRAY!

Baby Steps...

2009-12-03T07:31:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is, but you got to do it. I don't know where to go, but you got to be there. I don't know where to fall, but I know that's it's comfortable where I don't know where it is. ~Rufus Wainright

After a 2 day break from blogging, I'm ready to resume my regular intermittent posting. I am immersed in my last three weeks of classes before I get my first bachelors (I graduate 2 weeks from Saturday, provided a bunch of stuff gets done and falls into place, I can't believe it!), so this post is just to let you know that until December 19th, posting will be, well, intermittent.

Yesterday I met with my Certified Diabetes Educator, and my Physician's Assistant. While I've had my issues with my CDE, I continue to see her just because I prefer having a CDE who is connected to my Endocrinologist, because they know how the other will react to changes in treatment as well as have an open line of communication, being that they're in the same office. However, CDE's approach to diabetes education has left me speechless and hopeless at times. I wish she knew better what it felt like to have diabetes. This is one of the reasons I've decided to seek a second bachelor's degree in nutrition and become a CDE myself.

Anyway, I digress. I had never seen the Physician's Assistant before, and she was awesome! I only met with her briefly, but she was very informative and encouraging. I was frustrated that my averages were still high and that the graph Dex handed out to me yesterday morning was still seemingly all over the place, but they promised me I was making progress and encouraged me to take baby steps to meet my goal of an A1c below 7.

Baby Steps are very hard for me. It's why I've struggled with D, why I've struggled with school, and why I've struggled with my weight. I want instant results. Immediate results. Large results. But one lesson I'm learning is that that doesn't happen with Diabetes. Or life. Or anything. Haha...

So baby steps it is. I'm taking baby steps in my diabetes control, starting with attempting to not adjust my basal rates for one week after tweaking them. We tweaked them yesterday at the doctor's office, and I was required by the CDE and PhA to LEAVE THEM AT LEAST TIL NEXT WEDNESDAY. As well as call them with any changes I make at this time. This is also hard. I like being in control of my own disease and didn't feel as though this was necessary. However, they were able to see more clearly and make better adjustments then I would have at the appointment yesterday, therefore winning my trust, for now.

The next issue to tackle is weight. I gained 5 lbs since my last Endo appointment in September, putting me at my heaviest ever. My goal is overall health, not weight. I did get a week pass to the gym my dad is a member of and plan on using every day of that week to kick start my workout routine. I also may ask for a membership for Christmas, or see if it's covered by my insurance as preventative care. But that's not a baby step. 7 days of working out after 1-2 days a week since I stopped playing sports is NOT a baby step. But the baby step I am taking toward overall health is to try and get more regular rest. Right now I have trouble falling asleep before 2 or 3 am. My goal for the next couple weeks is to lay down, no computer, no book, no cell phone, at midnight (provided my studying for finals is done!), and lay there, hopefully convincing my body that it wants to sleep before 2am.

So here I go, posting goals on my blog again. This is what I mean about this blog being for myself. I enjoy having readers, few as there are, because you guys keep me accountable. And you put up with long rambling posts like this one (very much love you for that).

As much as I'd like to go on, this is forever long and I have to get back to school work. Peace.

(Oh and, Happy December. One of the most exciting months of the year. I LOVE IT).

Reflections of a Crazy Month

2009-11-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

The past six months have been a whirlwind.

In May, I started my internship at George Washington Carver National Monument. By June, I'd started browsing diabetes blogs. Motivated, I started actually testing my blood sugar - 10 to 15 times a day. In July, I started my own d-blog. Since then, I have been working toward better diabetes care and meeting some amazing people in the process.

Today's diabetes community posts are going to be "this is what happened during American Diabetes Month, this is what happened to me during NaBloPoMo, I'm glad NaBloPoMo is over."

My ADM was different from a lot of folks. I radically changed my approach to diabetes care. While these changes had been in the works for months, they finally came to a culmination this month. And it was fitting, considering the timing.

I guess my personal conclusion to ADM and NaBloPoMo 2009 is that NaBloPoMo was pretty easy for me (I like to talk, especially about myself - that's just who I am), but this new diabetes care was a challenge. It still is. It still will be, every day. When I wasn't in control of my diabetes, for nearly ten years, I didn't think having diabetes was hard. Now that I'm working to keep my numbers in line and working towards scoring that <7 A1C level, I know that it's not an easy disease to live with. But it's things like American Diabetes Month and the Diabetes Online Community that make it easier. Knowing there are people out there who know what I'm going through.

I sound like a broken record. These are all things I've been preaching all month, and all four months of the existence of my blog, really. December is going to go by fast. I probably won't be around much, I'll be attempting to get things in order to graduate (yes, that's still up in the air), and figuring out what I'm going to do after the 19th, where I"m going to live, and where I'm going to go to school. Come January I'll have a new life. I'll have new goals, personal, diabetes, academic, and career wise. I may even live in a different city. I can't believe the year is almost over. I can't believe I'll be turning 23 in February. This year, my life has changed dramatically, but it's nothing compared to what may come next year.

Bring it on. Diabetes and All.

Life in Pictures: Giant Fish

2009-11-29T06:00:00.000-08:00

Do you see this? DO YOU SEE THIS?

Yes, it's Santa Claus. Yes, he's fishing for a giant fish. On top of a building. The original Bass Pro Shops.

This is where I freaking live. Redneckville.

(In Diabetes News, fish is a good thing to eat if you have diabetes. Don't expect Santa to bring you a giant catfish, though. Not sure if they have those on the North Pole.)

Saturday is No Diabetes Day - Dear Christmas Shopper

2009-11-28T06:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Christmas Shopper,

This is a letter from a retail worker. There are some things I want you to remember this year.

First of all, remember that someone has to clean up the store that you mess up. Someone has to stay hours after the store closes in order to pick up all those shirts you knocked on the floor, losing time with our families that we'd like during the holidays.Unfortunately, we aren't allowed to take vacation in the winter. So please respect that even though you get time off this season, we're working hard for you.

Please don't get mad at us when we mess up a transaction. We're under a lot of pressure when we have long lines. I know you're busy, and you don't have a lot of time, but please realize we're doing the best that we can.

We are bugging you about charge cards and gift cards because we have to. Please at least listen to us when we explain to you the benifits. We don't want to ruin your credit, we are just trying to help our companies and keep our jobs. You might actually want one, if you listen.

Finally, please, please, remember that we do close at a certain time. I'm sorry that we're not open 24 hours during the holiday season. For that convienence, please shop at wal-mart. Again, we'd like to get home and spend time with our families.

Smile at the check out girl this season. If the guy working in electronics does a particularly good job helping you, say something to his manager. Remember the Reason for the season. Remember to Love. Remember, it's Christmas.

Love,

Your local retail worker.

A Whimsical Dia-Fab Friday

2009-11-27T06:00:00.000-08:00

Today is Friday. That means it's shout out day. I am really excited about today's shout out. I don't think she expects it at all. Last week, I asked Kerri before I posted about her, and that will be my usual procedure. But I know that this week's person reads my blog every day, and I wanted to surprise her, because I want her to know just how special she is.

Barbara Campbell and I actually were only twittering back and forth for a couple of days before we met in person. At the Samuel L Rodgers Lunch and Learn World Diabetes Day celebration in Kansas City, where I also met Cherise, Andrea, Scott, and Bob, I met this amazing woman. I could tell just by talking to her that she was strong and that she was confident in her diabetes control, as well as her life. We ate lunch at the same table, and she shared that she and her husband had put blue lights in their porch lights in honor of World Diabetes Day. Awesome, never even thought of it!

She also does amazing things in her community. She's involved in her church, claims herself as a Christian before anything (which gets a TON of respect from me), she's an army mom, and she participates in a project called Operation Write Home, which enables soldiers to keep in touch with their loved ones while overseas.Big things, I tell you, Big Things! Not to mention that she and I connect on a scrapbooking level.

What I didn't know about her until after the lunchon, when four of us d-bloggers were chatting, was that she was only diagnosed last July. I couln't believe how confident she seemed! And from her tweets I can see it even more. She knows how to control her blood sugars without meds or insulin - and that my friends is an awesome power, unfortunatly reserved for type 2's only. But that's ok, type 1's can learn a lot from type 2's.

What really strikes me is her heart as a person. She is so caring. She even offered to let me stay with her next time I am in Kansas City. This was on the first day we met! Babs, you are an amazing example of a strong Diazon living with diabetes.

Babs' Website: MyWhimsey
(If you don't read it, you need to)

Babs' Twitter Page: BabsCampbell
(If you don't follow her, you need to!)

I'm thankful for....

2009-11-26T06:00:00.000-08:00

I'm incredibly thankful for the Diabetes Online Community.

People say it all of the time, but DOC - you saved my life. I mean it.

Thanks.

me.

Wayback Wednesday: A Blast from the Past

2009-11-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

Another edition of my version of Wayback Wednesday

Ok, so I know that I've been pounding my itnernet friends with old pictures lately. What with my facebook album of scanned photos of family and friends and yesterday's entry detailing an event involving popcornball snowmen that occured in the first month after I was diagnosed, I've probably given you all you can handle when it comes to old photos. But with my obsessive usage of the scanner and discovery of a huge box of photos in my mom's closet, I had to upload more for your veiwing pleasure.

I am going to upload christmas pictures for the upcomong Wednesdays until Christmas. Today, I've provided you with a glimpse of what I looked like right around when I was diagnosed.

This picture haunts me because this was almost 11 months before I was diagnosed, and yet I still looked gaunt and was starting to look sick. If you didn't know, a symptom of type 1 diabetes is weight loss. See, your body can't process carbs or fats, so it starts to break down the fat, then muscle in your body.

Christmas 1997, me at age 10:

A year later, one month after I was diagnosed. Starting to gain the weight back, and wearing huge vision correctors, LOL:

That lion was to go with another lion that was given to me in the hospital, the bigger version of that one. I have them both somewhere. I began collecting stuffed lions at that point. Then, when I got into college, my sorority's animal was the lion. Some girls spent tons of money collecting stuffed lions to display and keep for future members, but I already had a bunch! I couldn't bring myself to give any of them away, though. They were too special to me because they started when I was in the hospital.

Happy holidays, hope everyone has a fun and safe day tomorrow!

Christmas Goodies: A Memory Box

2009-11-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

OK, so I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet, and I'll be the first to get onto you for beginning the season early. In my opinion, the Holiday Season lasts from Thanksgiving to Christmas, and possibly ends at New Years. But with Thanksgiving rapidly approaching, I am preparing my body for feastage by eating as low-calorie and low-carb as I can without starving this week. But I digress. The theme of this post is NOT healthy eating, it's: Christmas Goodies!! Such as this little ginger bread (actually graham cracker) house made by my brother and I sometime long ago. I don't have a date on this picture, but judging by the size of our hands and the casette tapes strewn about the table, it was sometime in the early 1990's.

A Memory Box:

This time of year, it's no secret, is difficult for people with diabetes for a variety of reasons. Mainly the food. For instance, last week, my dad came home from a fall bake sale at the church with an armload of cupcakes, sticky buns, cookies, and chocolate covered peanut clusters. He said they were "for the boys" (my brothers - mom and dad are both on weight watchers right now and I'm, of course, on Diabetes Watchers), but mom and I wondered how he could really expect us not to indulge. And this is just the beginning. Another perk to being a pastor's kid is that we receive LOTS of holiday gifts, mostly in the form of fudge, cookies, pastries, candies, and other Christmas goodies. My mom also loves to make these kinds of goodies. And every year, we get at least one popcorn tin. Popcorn tins are my weakness. So gross, yet so good.

Me, at 11, makin popcorn balls, Christmas 1998

I remember the first year after my diagnosis. Christmas came around, and I had only been diabetic for about a month at that time. I decided to make popcorn balls for school. I found the cutest idea in American Girl magazine for making little snowmen out of the popcorn balls and decorating them with candy and fruit roll up, giving them scarves and everything, similar to this one. They were adorable! I also couldn't keep from nibbling as I cooked away. I mean, I was only 11, and had never had to think about how a bite here or a finger lick there might raise my blood sugar. But it did. That was my first 400 since my diagnosis. Darn you, popcorn balls.

Funny story - I had this posted with googled images, when I found this ACTUAL FOOTAGE while looking for pics for tomorrow's post. These are the actual ones I made! Aren't they soooo cute? I may have to make them again this year, now that I am not on NPH and regular, can account for the carbs nibbled, and know that even a little can raise the bg a lot.

Little Snowmen! They're so adorable! And delicious looking! Christmas 1998

MeMe Monday: Thanksgiving Edition

2009-11-23T07:00:00.000-08:00

In case you don't live in the United States or do and are somehow living under a rock, Thursday is Thanksgiving, so to celebrate I stole this from Allison as my Thanksgiving present to you, my fair blog readers. Enjoy!

1. What are the traditional favorites?

I absolutely am in love with turkey. Who isn't? I also cannot have a thanksgiving without my grandma's corn casserole. It usually sends me on the brink of diabetic coma because I eat so much of it and it's sooo high in carbs, but it is so amazing I cannot stop eating it!

2. What new recipes will you try this year?
I'll probably make low-carb apple dumplings (low carb ish, they're made of apples and cresent rolls, but the additives are splenda and diet mt. dew - how could you go wrong?). My grandma has made it before, but I'll do it by myself this time Woo hoo!

3. What part of the meal do you never compromise?
oh, corn casserole. of course.

4. Who gets to carve the turkey?
Probably my father. He is always in the kitchen with Grandma. He loves to cook.

5. Family style around the table or buffet style and everyone sits wherever there’s room?
It's buffet style but we all sit around the table. Well, the two or three folding tables borrowed from the church. Some years past we've actually had thanksgiving IN the church. More benifits of being a PK (pastors kid) and a PGK (pastor's grandkid).

6. How many will be at your table this year?

oh, gosh. I don't even know. At least nine. Possibly more.

7. Three best pies for Thanksgiving dessert?
I don't eat the pie. I'm not a pie person. Unless it's cherry cheesecake "pie". But I usually go for the angelfood cake.

8. Cranberry sauce… yay or nay?
I'm not a fan. It made me puke when I was 2. Never really gone for it since.
9. What time do you eat Thanksgiving Dinner?
Usually around 3.

10. Favorite leftover?
OMG Turkey sandwich with mayo. Just turkey and mayo. Looooove it!!!

D-Life in Pictures: Bling Meter

2009-11-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

Here is the case for my PING remote/BG meter.

I put my World Diabetes Day ribbon on it.

The ribbon was made by Andrea, known to interwabs as Sticky Sweet Diabetic/ Sticky Sweet Mom.

I think it adds a nice touch to the bland meter case. How about you?

Saturday is No Diabetes Day

2009-11-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share with you some pictures (in which I look absolutely horrendous) from last weekend, the non-D part. Last weekend was World Diabetes Day, but I was a little distracted hanging out with my boyfriend and attending a dance at his school.

Here is a picture of me with my boyfriend and my other two "dates", his two best friends:

I don't know what I am doing with my face, don't ask.

The boy on the left had other plans that night, we convinced him to come with us for the first few minutes for the food. The boy on the right's girlfriend is studying abroad this semester, so he was dateless. We just had a group hang instead. The boy in the middle is of course my boyfriend. Isn't he cute?

And here I am with the two girls I stay with when I visit my boyfriend:

No, I am not a giant, they are just short girls. I can't stay with the boy because he lives in the dorms, and they have strict rules at his school regarding dorm overnight stays. So, I stay with these two lovely ladies. They rock my world!!

Dia-Fabulous Friday: Six Until Me

2009-11-20T06:00:00.001-08:00

I want to start a new trend here at ADD. (That's my new name for my blog. ADD. Adventures of Diabolical Diabetty. It's fitting because I have ADD. Or maybe I don't. Is that a butterfly outside? No, just a fly and a kid riding a bike). My new trend is going to be posting tributes to people I find inspiration from on Fridays. It's kind of like #followfriday on Twitter, but with the advent of Twitter Lists I've seen less and less Friday Following. The purpose of this Dia-Fabulous Friday shout out ritual is going to be to send you to other places on the Web, and to let you know what else is out there for you to read concerning diabetes. The majority of my audience will probably already know most of these things, but this is a "just in case my blog is ever amazing" trend I'm starting here. But that's not the biggest reason. The real reason is to thank people that have helped me along on my journey over the past four months. That's right, Four months ago I started "ThePwDPK," which has evolved into ADD.

Today my first Dia-Fabulous Shout Out is going to Kerri Sparling, author of famed diabetes blog SixUntilMe. Kerri is credited to being a pioneer of the Diabetes-blogging world. Her blog is included in the Diabetes bundle on Google Reader. She spent a lot of time working at dLife, and gets a lot of (well deserved) attention for her contributions to the DOC. And while I really want to highlight some lesser-known d-bloggers in the future, I need to shout out to the people who influenced me the most first. So here is why Kerri influenced me not only to become a d-blogger but to really focus on my diabetes care.

This was one of the first SUM blogs I read after adding the bundle to my Google Reader last July. It was about her cat, Siah. Her cat in her suitcase. Her cat that looks exactly like my own suitcase loving cat. A T1 person with diabetes that has a mischevious gray cat? This I gotta read.

A screen shot of sixuntilme.com. All the images belong to SixUntilMe and Kerri Sparling.

As I read further I learned that she and her husband were trying to get pregnant. And I also read about the things she was going through to get her A1C where it needed to be. Here I was, planning on getting engaged and married soon, and sometime in the next five to ten years starting a family of my own. Yet I always in the back of my mind wondered if I would be able to start a family, if I would be able to have a child. But wait...working towards bringing my A1C levels down...now? Not waiting to see if my body could handle pregnancy ten years from now, but trying to prepare it well in advance? THIS WAS NEWS. And it was advice I took. Kerri talks about how she started thinking about having a baby before she even met her hubby. I was so inspired by this.

Kerri Sparling recieves my Dia-Fabulous Friday Shout-Out today, on my four month blogaversary, because she is inspiring to any young Diazon (thanks, K2) who wants to have a family someday. And to any PWD, really. Thanks, Kerri! Your blog probably saved my life.

D-Life in Pictures

2009-11-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

This is what my couch tends to look like when I camp out for homework and TV sessions. Clockwise, from the top: empty diet coke bottle, meter with wadded up alcohol wipe wrappers, pump (bottom left corner) and Dexcom CGMS. Thanks, Diabetes.

24 hours with a CGMS, 1 week with the pump

2009-11-18T11:23:00.000-08:00

I am starting to get pretty experienced with these diabetes electronic things.

One week ago, I started using insulin on the pump. My Animas Ping has been very good to me since. Dispite the fact that I'm using 100+ units of insulin a day, I have been seeing good results. Only one bg over 300 has popped up. I can't say that I had more than one 300 a week before the pump, I can say that I feel much more in control and am seeing better numbers in the morning.

CGMS has been an adventure. This morning between 7 and 8, when I was absolutely not awake, the CGMS went off and did not wake me up, but it did say that my blood sugars dropped to 36. I don't think this is remotely correct. I am usually starting my "dawn phenomenon" rise in blood sugars by this time each morning (mine usually happenes between 6 and 9), and I never woke up. My blood sugars either were stable the whole time or if I did drop, they came back up on their own.

Then, later today, the sensor faild. Twice. First, the DexCom was displaying a ??? in the window. Then, it would pretend like it couldn't communicate with the sensor. Finally, it would fail. This happened two times. I knew from other people's experience that if I called DexCom and explained why I had to change my sensor early, they would replace it. They did, for which I am eternally grateful.

Now, it's just time to continue managing my numbers without becoming too OCD on the subject.

T1 Life like a T2

2009-11-17T15:10:00.000-08:00

*Disclaimer*
I felt that in order to write this post, I need to clarify some diabetes myths. I don't really want to go into them all. I will say that there IS a difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes. Type 1 diabetes indicates that your immune system has attacked your pancreas and you can no longer produce insulin. Type 2 diabetes happens when your body stops responding to the insulin that your pancreas produces. This is why it can be treated with many different methods, including diet and exercise, oral medication, or insulin therapy. All newly diagnosed type 1s are not children. All newly diagnosed T2s are NOT obese, although obesity increases your risk factor for developing Type 2 diabetes.

OK, now that that's out of the way.

Today I had a twitter conversation with Babs, one of the d-bloggers I met at the event on Friday, who is a newly diagnosed T2 diabetic. Babs in no way meets the stereotypical type 2 that the media portrays. She is tall, lean, and looks amazing.

Our conversation concerned the lessons that Type 1's can learn from Type 2's. I feel that when I was told once I went to multiple daily injections that I could eat whatever I wanted, and my doctors never told me to incorporate exercise into my routine for the purpose of blood glucose control. These are new concepts I've developed on my own. Reading about type 2's who control their blood glucose on exercise and diet alone, I can't help but gain inspiration. Imagine if I applied these concepts to my own glucose control. Research proves that exercise helps lower blood glucose levels, as if I didn't prove it to myself on Saturday with my participation in the Big Blue Test.

So the truth is, while many type 1's have been living with diabetes a lot longer than type 2s, and while it seems we have it easier, we have a lot to learn from our T2 counterparts. Thanks, Babs, and all my other T2 friends, for the inspiration.

Adventures of Diabetty: Episode 1

2009-11-16T19:08:00.000-08:00

Today was full of adventures.

My unexpected overnight stay put me in short supply of insulin. Smart kid I am, I had a pen of lantus with me. I decided at 3am, it would be brilliant to take the lantus and shut off my basal rate for 24 hours in order to save the remaining insulin for foodage today. It worked - kinda. My morning blood sugars were high again and I wound up adding a low basal rate to compensate most of the day to deal with the stress of the travel.

My first goal was to get from Southern Iowa to my house. I woke up to a tweet from d-friend Cherise that it was snowing in Kansas City. Kansas City is about 100 miles south of where I was and absolutely between myself and my destination of home. I kinda freaked out. I was planning on leaving at 10 or 11 and ran out somewhere between 9 and 10, as soon as I got packed. That means that I missed breakfast with the boyfriend, which was sad. Turns out that I missed the whole thing, it was turning to rain once it crossed the Kansas-Missouri state line. Morning freak-out passed, not without its fair share of effects on my numbers.

I did get to make a stop at one of my favorite places. Cheese has been a favorite snack of mine since I found out it was a "free" food. I admit I've overinduldged at times, but now that I've been trying to eat healthier, I still indulge once in a while.

Osceola Cheese Factory is a little cheese shop and convinence store in Osceola, Missouri, a little bitty town on MO 13. We used to stop there every time we drove to visit my grandparents when we lived in western Missouri. These stops were a long time ago, in my pre-D days. But now, I like to stop there every once in a while to grab a stick of the most delicious string cheese, a taste that makes me remember being a four year old who didn't have to count carbs or stab herself with a needle.

Awkward Picture of me eating the delicious string cheese. Mmm, low carb goodness.

Giant Purse

2009-11-15T18:07:00.000-08:00

Heard today on the 3rd floor of the dorm where I stay at my boyfriend's school:

"I didn't know if that was a bag or a purse."

It's true, my purse is giant. It has to be. Between extra pump supplies (infusion sets, cartridges, insulin, alcohol wipes, batteries, etc), blood sugar monitor, glucose tabs, juice boxes, granola bars, and everything else I like to carry around with me (ten tubes of chapstick, water, diet coke, logs to write down food intake and blood sugars, a hair brush, extra makeup...what can I say I like to be prepared), I need a giant, bag-like purse. This purse is so big I can even fit my laptop in it. Granted, my laptop is only 13 inches, but still. It fits.

Another aspect of life with D. Giant purses and all.

Dancing the Night Away...

2009-11-14T18:58:00.000-08:00

I've had a busy weekend. Between the WDD event yesterday where I met a bunch of cool people, and the Big Blue Test today, and my visit to Iowa, I haven't had much time to tweet or blog, so my normal nine o'clock NaBloPoMo blog didn't happen today.

So I'm getting ready to go dance the night away, wearing my pump tucked into the thigh of my spanx under my dress, (Spanx are an undergarment to make women look more shapely, and they work amazingly), and blogging furiously as the bf bugs me to leave.

But I leave you with this picture:

It's Cherise, Me, Andrea, Babs, and Scott!

Kittah: Friday is No Diabetes Day

2009-11-13T07:00:00.000-08:00

OK so I promised no diabetes day on Saturdays this month, but I had to recount this week because tomorrow is World Diabetes Day and I need a diabetes-centric post, highlighting the event I'm attending today as well as the Big Blue Test I'll be taking part in tomorrow. If there is one thing that can make me feel better after a bad day with the D (or just a bad day in general), it's hangin' with my crazy cats. Smokey is my cat. I mean he is MY cat. I rescued him from the road when he was just a few months old. He follows me around the house like a toddler.

This is my brother's cat winkles in one of my favorite picture of her. She is fat and annoying now, but she is still the cutest cat ever.

They are my comfort, they are my babies. I love them dearly. The only "regret" I have in my choice of life partners is that my boyfriend is allergic to cats and I can't take them with me when I move out. Sorry, boogers. You have to stay with Mommy and Daddy.

(But of course, I love the bf more than the kittys, so it's all good).

Traveling with Pump

2009-11-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

My first experience traveling with Miss Pingy and Silverton in tow will be this weekend, only one day after I started pumping insulin. Ahh! It's crazy.

I am heading to Kansas City for the 1st Annual Samuel U. Rodgers Health Centre World Diabetes Day Lunch and Learn Event where my good d-friend Cherise will be speaking. I didn't hear back from the nurse so I assume I RSVP'd in time to be one of the 100 guests at the event.

After that I'll be spending the weekend with my boyfriend at his college. There's a dance on Saturday night, and I love getting prettied up. It will be "fun" to experience my pump plus dress.

I'm not really worried about being with the bf and my pump, but the drive to KC and spending a night in a dorm room (staying with my old sorority in their new complex) alone I am slightly concerned about. But I am confident that things will work out.

SO, have a great weekend, friends! I'll be updating via twitter on my pumping experiences. Later gators!

I Kissed Lantus Goodbye

2009-11-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

At 3pm today, I will be switching from saline to insulin on my pump. That means that last night, I took my last shot of Lantus ever. (Of course, barring any pump vacations or lack of supplies and emergencies, etc).

I have spent the last 8 years with an A1C over 8, sometimes as high as 9.4. Last Spring, I had a "surprise" result of 7.8, which I achieved without changing anything about my lifestyle except that I moved out of the dorms and into my own house, and cooked for myself, which helped enormously.

When I finally woke up and realized the damage I was doing to myself, I did everything I could to get myself in control. All summer, I worked out 3 to 4 tomes a week, I ate low carb and low calorie, and I tested. Oh, boy did I test. 15-20 times a day I tested. I made it my goal to test every hour. I wanted to know what my blood sugars were doing.

Even after all that work, when I visited my endo in December my A1C had actually gone up. From 7.8 to 7.9. My weight didn't change either. I was so disappointed.

So now, it's time for the next step. Keeping on with the diet and exercise, I applied for a pump and CGMS. It was a long hard road with a lot of discouraging (monetary) issues. But, I can now say that I am receiving my Dexcom within the next week, and last night

I kissed lantus goodbye.

No literally, I kissed my lantus pen. See?

OK, so the graphic is really amateur. Any advice on how to make it look better, that doesn't involve purchasing software that costs more than free?

EXCITING NEWS

2009-11-10T07:00:00.000-08:00

I forgot to ask my dad to write for today, so you'll get a T3 post on Thursday.

However, due to recent events, this post will be short, but amazing.

i'm getting my dex. :-D

it was all just an insurance mix up

and

Tomorrow I go to insulin on my pump.

YEAH!

Signs of Diabetes

2009-11-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about the "Signs of Diabetes" - things that might trigger people to think, "I wonder if she has diabetes?" or things that when I see other people with them make me wonder if they too are PWD's like me. I came up with this list:

Diet Soda - I usually am carrying around one of these babies.
Huge Purse - Loaded with food and water. Carrying around snacks, water, and various other sustenance is tasking, the abnormally large purse helps.
gum or mints - my dental hygienist suggested that I keep gum or mints in my purse and indulge in them often in order to help with saliva production and keep my toothers healthy.
Glasses on my face - OK, ok, TONS of non-diabetics wear glasses, but one of the first things we did after I was diagnosed was visit the eye doctor. That was when I started wearing glasses. I always associate them with D for that reason.
sugar free cough drops - the very fact that they are sugar-free should be a hint.
label-checking - incessantly turning food over to read the carb, fiber, protein, fat, and calorie content of the foods I'm taking in - I'm not dieting - I'm diabetic!
my bookmarked pages - seven of them are Diabetes related
random electronic devices - pump, monitor, and hopefully eventually a CGMS - I'm so wired. I even use the blackberry (twitter) to access the DOC and help with diabetes management.
pricked fingers - always have those annoying dark dots on the ends of my fingers.
bruised tummy - from messed up infusion sets or shots that hit the wrong place - bruised tummy can indicate diabetes care!
3 or 4 logs in my purse - I have one for blood sugar, one for food, and one for exercise - I tried combining them into one and it got confusing, so I stuck with three.
random activity below the table before meals - I'm messing with my meter, pump, or shots!
"No rice please." - I always ask to leave off extra carbs I don't need to be full, such as asking the Chinese restaurants to leave off the rice. They love telling me I'm still paying for it - I know - please still leave it off. I won't eat it.

These were the ideas I came up with as "signs" of my internal disease. Can you come up with any others?

I-N-S-U-L-I-N

2009-11-08T07:00:00.001-08:00

I is for inside me, where the insulin makes its bed.
N is for never ending, we won't stop taking it until we are dead.
S is for shots and pumps, two ways we take the med.
U is for under my skin, where the cannula fits in
L is for Long acting and short acting, the two kinds it comes in.
N is for not quitting, I'll fight this D-battle to the end.

I hope the end is a cure, as we all do. This is a tribute to the insulin I take every day, I owe it my life. Thank you, little vial of clear liquid. You continue to save my life.

Saturdays are no Diabetes Days

2009-11-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

Today's Topic:

The Annoying Thing about my New Neighbors.

Since we moved into our house in 2001, my next door neighbors were both quiet, older couples who bought their houses when the subdivision was built in 1957. The neighbors to the east took a liking to us and started attending our church. They still give every member of my family a birthday card with five dollars in it every year. He also mows the easternmost portion of our lawn when he is testing out lawn mowers that he fixes. They have the only basement on the block and host block parties during tornado warnings, complete with free diet coke, with a caffeine free option for those 2am tornado warnings. They are pretty great.

The neighbors to the west were quieter. The husband passed away sometime while I was in high school. We took it upon ourselves to check up on his widow. She eventually began doing well. She got a dog, and later met an old widower online who lived in another Missouri town. She packed up all her stuff and moved to this other town to shack up with the old dude. Okay, so they did get married first, but it was all rather sudden and seemed hilarious to us and our neighbors.

The new neighbors are a family about the same age as mine. They have a couple college age kids who are around sometimes. They're a little louder and have more cars, but are generally ok. Except one thing.

Why must you waste electricity, pollute the earth, and increase your carbon footprint by leaving your garage light on ALL NIGHT?

I put up my room darkening shades. I drew the blinds behind them. And yet the glow out your garage side window into my room, annoying me as I try to go to sleep.

I have thought about asking them to turn it off, but I feel it's unnecessary to start neighbor feuds when we don't' even own our house (it's a parsonage).

Anyway.

That was my first no satur-d-ay post. (see what I did there?)

eleven.

2009-11-06T07:00:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: This is long. It's somewhat rambling. I've posted some of the information before. But it's my 11th diabetes anniversary. So I'm posting my story, again. Please take the time to read it in honor of American Diabetes Month.

I'm sitting on my bed, at 11:11 the night before this entry will post, trying to write a paper that was due 11 minutes ago, and I can't focus. My blood sugar is too out of wack (78 and dropping, hoping those glucose tabs kick in). My stomach is to topsy turvy from stress of an upcoming packed weekend including a job interview, the salmon I ate tonight which was apparently unagreeable with my system, and the fact that I haven't written that paper yet. I am mostly thinking about how I need to go to the store and buy two cake mixes. One will be my d-anniversary cake, complete with 11 syringes.

The other cake mix I will use to make my mom some cookies to take to work with her tomorrow. Tomorrow is her *undisclosed number*th birthday. 11 years ago, she spent her birthday evening with her oldest child, her only daughter, her 11 year-old, in the hospital.

She had spent half the day waiting for her daughter to come home. She was only 11. How could this be happening to her? She was a happy, involved girl. She loved singing in church, she loved playing soccer and coach-pitch softball. She had just started her second season of basketball. She was an active, vibrant little girl. How could this disease have attacked her, when she had been so healthy before?

Then, finally, her daughter came home promptly at 3pm. She always walked home. It was only a few blocks in a small western Missouri town. She worried a little more today than she did most days, but her daughter showed up at the right time.

Her daughter had some knowledge of what was going on. The afternoon before, they had visited the doctor. An assistant had stuck a needle in her arm. She vaguely knew what diabetes was. She was a avid reader and had encountered it in her books. She didn't know the advances in medicine that would allow her better control and more freedom, because as she walked home, she thought the Halloween lollipop she was eating might be the last candy she ever had.

Her mother told her when she walked in the door. "The Doctor called. He said your blood sugar levels were highly elevated. He said we should go to the hospital."

Her dad was already home from the small town church that stood next door to their house. He insisted on a second opinion. They went to a friends house and had her blood sugar tested there. The friend assured her parents that it was too high and that they should follow the doctor's instructions to check into the hospital.

That night, her mother spent her birthday evening in Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri. She didn't know what to expect. They had received little training. She knew that her daughter was learning how to give herself shots of insulin, but as far as the Diabetes monster went, she was still in the dark. All she knew was that this was the worst birthday present ever.

"Mamma, I'm sorry that I had to get diabetes on your birthday."

"It's okay, Sarah, I'm thankful that you'll start to get better on my birthday."

Eleven years later, I am here. I have been on a whirlwind roller coaster with my diabetes care, but I am alive and well and doing everything I can to take life with diabetes one day at a time. To do only as much as I can and not to be frustrated with myself for not being able to do more than I can. My mother is well. She will have a happy birthday today with no children being shipped to the hospital (hopefully). But each year, we both remember what happened on this day 11 years ago, and we are thankful. Thankful that it didn't happen on a day after her birthday, on a day when I might have gone into a coma and been lost forever.

I'm forever grateful to my mother. She saw the signs. It was her vigilance, her words that convinced our primary care physician to run the test that put me on the track to living a long, healthy life.

Thank you, Mom. Happy Birthday.

D confusion...

2009-11-05T10:00:00.000-08:00

Figuring out the morning basal is proving to be interesting.

My nurse said wait a couple days, but I still would like to know where to start. Like, you should take some insulin in the morning and see how much your blood glucose goes down, right? What about when it starts at 203, and you eat nothing, and an hour and a half later after six units (when you should only have taken four because in the evening six would have put you at 50) you're 240? Woah, is insulin having the OPPOSITE effect on me?

I had to explain this dawn phenomenon to my father. He is so so supportive, but he still automatically thinks i did something wrong. He is being really encouraging though. He is logically telling me to eat less carbs and exercise more so I can take less insulin. Bingo dad, you are correct on this one!

So now I'm left to tinker with boluses after I get started on insulin next week. The math makes no logical sense. But as I have said many times, such is life with the big D.

Psst: Pump Woes

2009-11-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

Psst. Psst. Psst.

If you use an insulin pump, you know that sound.

Psst. Psst. Psst.

It's the sound of my pump dosing my basal rate every few minutes.

Psst. Psst. Psst.

It's just pumping saline right now. Eventually, I think it will be a comforting sound, letting me know that the pump is working.

Right now I'm just annoyed.

I. Feel. Like. I. Am. At. The. Hospital.

The smell of alcohol wipes takes me straight back there. I have this thing, essentially an IV, stuck in me all of the time. I can take it off now, but in a week I won't be able to.

psst. psst. psst.

Just like being hooked up to a machine at the hospital.

I only can hope that I will feel better when it's actually insulin and I can actually see the results. I already love being able to use the pump to calculate how much insulin I should take, and being able to see exactly how much insulin I've taken that day. That is awesome. But the cyborg part and the hospital-esque part are freaking me out a bit.

Psst. Psst. Psst.

The new sound of the rest of my life.

OK, as a disclaimer, I'm OK with pumping, just unexpected frustrations are coming about and I'm not even on insulin yet! Like anything else in life, this will take some getting used to. Unfortunately I am revisiting old feelings of being frustrated with what those of us with D have to go through just to keep alive. So not cool.

But as Dory would say, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

Woeful Wednesday: Pump Edition is brought to you by a generous donation by Miss Pingy and Silverton the talking BG meter.

Wednesdays are the days I choose to complain on my blog. I try not to let negativity creep in any other day, but Wednesdays are my venting day.

T-3 Tuesday

2009-11-03T07:00:00.001-08:00

If you're not hip on the d-lingo, you may be wondering, "What the heck is a T3?" T3 is shorthand for Type 3. If you're medically inclined, you know that there is no "type 3 diabetes." A person with Type 3 diabetes is someone who closely supports anyone with either of the two types of diabetes, the primary care givers when we were little or when we get too old to take care of ourselves.

Today is T-3 Tuesday. For the month of November, on Tuesdays I will be posting something written by the T-3's in my life. Today's post comes from my beautiful, amazing mother. She isn't a writer and is pretty shy, so this little paragraph speaks volumes from her. I loved it anyway. Thanks, Mom!

A paragraph by my mom about this week 11 years ago, when I was diagnosed on her birthday:

"When we found out Sarah had diabetes it was really hard. I didn’t know how we would get her to take good care of herself. She was only 11. But she took total control of it from the beginning. She began giving herself shots in the hospital and she was so good about checking her sugar. I was so impressed with the way she took care of herself."

Pump Update: I made it through my first pump training session yesterday. It was not as much information overload as I expected - I have learned a lot from listening to/reading D-friends talk about their pumps on twitter and their blogs. I was frustrated that I have to pump saline for a while before I start on insulin - I realize this is standard at a lot of hospitals, but the paperwork they sent me made it seem like I wouldn't have to go through this step. I am OK with it now, it was just frustrating to get something unexpected (but that's life with D, amirite?).

MeMe Monday

2009-11-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

I stole this from Chris, who stole it from others, check out his blog to see from who.

1. Do you like bleu cheese? I prefer it to ranch when I eat chicken wings.

2. Have you ever smoked? I used to smoke socially, but I kinda grew up and realized that was a bad idea. Plus I quit drinking, which was the only time I smoked.

3. Do you own a gun? Not personally. My dad has one though.

4. Favorite type of Food? Meat and potatoes like a good Ozarkian girl.

5. Favorite type of music? I like lots of types, 90's alternative takes the cake, but I also like pop-punk, indie, country, classical, and crappy pop? Sad but true... I like to dance.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I only eat hot dogs at the baseball park. I'm more of a burger girl.

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Elf. Duh. I'll start watching it in about a week, probably.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I drink a glass of water followed by diet coke until I am awake.

9. Can you do push ups? I can do about five :(

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I like to always wear a different necklace. But I enjoy my promise ring too, of course.

11. Favorite hobby? Hobby? Internet count? No, really. I enjoy sewing and knitting, wish I did them more.

12. Do you have A. D. D.? Wanna go ride bikes? (that means yes...very yes).

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Glasses only at the moment, hoping soon I have the finances to go back to contacts.

14. Middle name? Jane, obvs.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: Pump training, Pump training, My cat's whiskers are tickling my feet.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink: Water, Diet Coke, milk.

17. Current worry? what the crap am I going to do in December

18. Current hate right now? HCR..... Or the health care system in general.

19. Favorite place to be? right now i'll have to say asleep in my bed.

20. How did you bring in the new year? I freaking honestly do not remember.

21. Someplace you’d like to go? Ohh, costa rica. (See picture)

22. Name three people who will complete this. Don't like this question.

23. Do you own slippers? I do. My mom gets them for me every year at christmas.

24. What color shirt are you wearing? its white, brown, pink, many different colors.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? They're actually kind of cold. I prefer jersey.

26. Can you whistle? sort of.

27. Where are you now? In the living room. (Well, when this posts I will be on my way to Pump Training!)

28. Would you be a pirate? I don't think I would be cut out for pirates life. I'm more the princess type. Ha!

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? I only sing in the shower if I'm REALLY tired or really happy. And I have no idea what songs.

30. Favorite Girl’s Name? ooo playing name our future baby... Hallie Elizabeth

31. Favorite boy’s name? I liked Jonathan David, my two brothers, but the boyfriend is also David and his brother is John so I just think that would be too many Johns and Jons and Davids. So, no idea.

32. What is in your pocket right now? oh uh starburst wrapper from earlier low

33. Last thing that made you laugh? well, I guess that would be homestarrunner.com.

34. What vehicle do you drive? 2002 chevy caviler. I love it, have had no problems, it serves its purpose. I wish it had cruise control though.

35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? just several sprained ankles and a messed up shoulder back in the day when I played sports.

36. Do you love where you live? I really love Southwest Missouri (it's beautiful, see picture), but not so much living in my parents house.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? oh man, six I believe. One in each bedroom, plus two others.

38. How many computers do you have in your house? Four laptops and one PC. (family of five)

39. If you changed your job, what would it be? Something that helps PWD's, duh!

40. If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? 1. Cure Diabetes, every type (again, duh), 2. have a family 3. Always have enough money to provide for my family. (aww, how heartwarming).

World Diabetes Day and NaBloPoMo

2009-11-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

Last night, at about 2:30 AM CST, I tweeted that I was furiously blogging for Monday and Tuesday this week. D-blogging friend Chris, author of A Consequence of Hypoglycemia, proceeded to ask me if I was participating in NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month. I had no idea what that was! After glancing around the site for a bit, I decided whether I was official or not, I would post every day for the Month of November, mostly Diabetes posts.

I am really excited about this month. It's special for a few reasons for me. It's the month I was diagnosed. It's also going to be my first month pumping. I go in for training tomorrow! Finally, World Diabetes Day is on the 14th. I am still hoping to go up to KC and meet up with some fellow d-bloggers on the 14th. I am just hoping I have the cash to fulfill this hope!

I don't like posting every day. It makes me feel a little self-righteous. I would much rather have a few quality posts than many posts that are less than quality. I decided that this month I wold abandon that feeling and post every day, as I mentioned above. I hope to include a couple guest posts by my parents for my diagnosis week. I also decided to post on Saturdays some non-diabetes related posts in order to kind of break up the d-talk obsession, a la the "No D Day" we celebrated in October (although I opted out of blogging that day, I did participate via twitter).

Welcome to Diabetes Month, Diabetty Style.

OH HAPPY DAY

2009-10-29T07:10:00.001-07:00

I'm singing today.

Yesterday's CDE appointment: SUCCESS.

I now have dad's permission to get the CGMS on his dollar. HOW COOL.

I'm still considering waiting for them to be in one set, the pump and the CGMS, but having my dad's approval and help means the world to me.

Battle: won. War: lives on. Diabetes, I will have the upper hand. You wait and see.

EDIT: as of 9pm on Thursday night, I found out that something was wrong with the original figure he gave me. He told us a figure 700 dollars over the original when Dad went to pay for it today. I am very upset, but I still have options. The battle lives on.

Woeful Wednesday: CGMS

2009-10-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

Last week, I wrote about how frustrated I was with the amount of money I will have to spend on my CGMS and pump combined. I hit another road bump: my dad is not convinced.

I tried to explain it to him, but his diabetes education consists of what we learned in the hospital almost 11 years ago. He even suggusted I use NPH to control Dawn Phenomonon. Good idea, in theory, dad, but there are a lot of holes in that plan.

My dad is great, I love him dearly, he is just stubborn and loves to argue. I have these qualities as well. We've had a couple loud talks about this whole Dexcom thing. But today, I am going to head to the CDE, dad in tow, and hope that she and I can convince him that this is something that would be benificial to my treatment.

Please wish me luck!! Follow up blog to follow.

"Girl Talk"

2009-10-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

Fair Warning guys: there will be lady talk going on. Personal lady talk. Just warnin ya.

There's been quite a bit of lady talk going around in the DOC lately. Two months ago, my good friend Crystal who blogs at Randomly capitalizeD posted an entry on her old blog site about lady-business. More recently, Amy at DiabetesMine posted an entry about "girl stuff" and Lee Ann, author of The Butter Compartment, wrote a compelling blog about lady-struggles to keep pumps connected and out of site while wearing dresses.

Today it's my turn to rant. The Monthly Gift and Diabetes, it is so awesome. Let. Me. Tell. You.

Thanks to my little birth control package, I know exactly when my gift will arrive. And I have it easy. I take a four placebo pill, which means I have one day or less of the friendly flow. This. Is. Awesome. But the symptoms are still there, and they usually start about a week before the placebos start. The bloating. The irritability. The acne. The inevitable rise in blood sugars.

And the eating. Oh, the eating! I can't seem to sit still without munching on something. Lately I've been running out of insulin. My doctor attributed it to testing more and taking more correction doses. She's probably right. But it's made me ever more carb-conscious. She asked if I wanted her to up my prescription, and I stupidly said no. That just means less carbs for Sarah so the insulin goes further, right?

Well, not the week before my period. Nothing seems to satisfy my cravings for cake except cake. Nothing seems to allow me to forget about the proverbial chocolate bar, waiting at the convenience store for me to come and pick it up, except driving to the store and buying it and eating it before I get home. Ok, these examples are extreme, but I find myself eating more chips, bread, and cereal the week before my period than any other time. And that means taking more insulin. Way too much insulin.

Thanks, monthly gift. I was doing really well this week with eating habits. You came along and delivered your pre-symptoms and now I spend most of my time convincing myself not to eat the bowl of cereal, only to eat the bowl of cereal twenty minutes later.

Someday I'll figure this D-thing out.

Okay, I know that's not true. But at least I have support as I constantly strive to be the healthiest I can be, right?

Pumpy

2009-10-26T19:10:00.000-07:00

I am currently in posession of Pink Pingy, or as Bob suggusted I name her, Miss Pingy. (her name is not finalized yet).

I can't use her yet.

I hope I will be able to soon.

That is all.

Shenanigans!

2009-10-21T11:36:00.000-07:00

Warning: Downer Post

David was in town the past four days for a long fall break. We spent the weekend hiking, visiting state parks, admiring the beautiful fall colors and the beauty of our oh-so-country part of the country, and just goofing around. We really enjoy going on adventures together. Yesterday, before he had to head back to Iowa, or what I like to call the Northern Hinterlands, we went on an adventure in search of gluten free goodies for David.

The bakery was charming, in the perfect southwest Missouri country trailer that wouldn't be safe to hide in during our lovely springtime onset of severe thunderstorms. It was painted an ugly tan color.

The woman who came out to help us was helpful but had a slight attitude that grated on my nerves. She was a slightly classy version of the normal people who grate on my nerves in this my native part of the country. She at least helped run a business and didn't live off her baby daddy's pawn shop money, right? OK, I'm being harsh on her. She was fine. She didn't really grate on my nerves that much, until we had "the" conversation.

Now, I am known for sharing too much detail about my life (GASP, you'd never know, right?). Somehow in my rambling about how we thought their little bakery was great (they do diabetic stuff too) because David has to eat gluten free and I'm diabetic, I let it slip that I'm a person with the big D. (Catch that? Ha, ha). I am not sure how we got on the topic, but she said, "We carry things that are gluten free and sugar free," or something, and I told her that I am on insulin and can eat whatever I want in moderation. She said something like, "Just because you're on insulin doesn't mean you can eat whatever you want. So and so is on insulin and they just went on dialysis."

OK, lady. I don't know you from Adam and here you are telling me how to control my disease and threatening me with complication stories? I know about complications. I'm busting my butt poking my finger about 1000 times a day and turning my stomach, arms, and legs into pincushions and you're telling me about complications? You're telling me about how I should eat? Are you serious? I probably wouldn't even buy anything from your bakery just because it's the kind of stuff I try to stay away from. Did you even know that flour you use in your gluten free and gluten filled products affects my blood sugar in a nastier way than the process sugar you replace with chemical that taste sweet? And that I won't eat it anyway?

I didn't say anything. I just nodded, David paid for his gluten free bread and cinnamon rolls, and we left.

I don't know why I get so mad about it. I just don't understand why people think it's their place to tell me how to take care of myself. I know. I don't do the best at it, but you try living with diabetes for a while. I could eat perfectly and my best at checking blood sugars and dosing at the proper times and still end up on dialysis. Because Diabetes loves the people it tortures THAT MUCH. How is that for your lecture, lady?

D has been ticking me off lately. And now I've been on the phone with some equally unintelligent people all day trying to figure out why the charge from Animas isn't showing up on my account a week later, when it was there last week.

Come on, people. I'm just a 22 year old, trying to figure out life and diabetes and growing up and all this crap. Can you please cut me some slack?

/rant

(Hopefully my next post will be happy and involve receiving shiny new insulin pumps in the mail).

Woeful Wednesday: It's Not Fair!

2009-10-14T08:17:00.001-07:00

I have been trying to get a pump and a CGMS for about a month and a half now.

The pump is looking good. I'm hoping for an Aminas Ping (pink) and I am just waiting on them to process my financial aid application before we make the down payment (about 100 dollars, with about 50 dollars a month for 8 months after that. Not bad. Definitely manageable).

CGMS is another story.

I talked to Dexcom last week, because I wasn't sure why I hadn't heard from them yet. Turns out, despite what my insurance company may hafe told me, they were out of network. They sent me over to Edgepark Medical Supply Company, and after reassurance from my good friend Suzanne, I felt comfortable with them handling my account.

I finally talked to my Edgepark today and they gave me my total I'm responsible for: 360 dollars.

Ok, so it's not that bad, compared to the 500 I will owe on the pump. I don't like that I have to pay the entirety upfront. That scares me a little. I can't afford it, and I don't think my parents can either (they're getting ready to go to Mexico for their 25th wedding anniversary and have poured most of their spare funds into that).

I am just pissed that I have to spend so much money on things that are supposed to keep me healthy. Why? WHY? Does capitalisim want me to die?

Apparently.

Ok, so I wont' die on shots and regular testing, but statistically I won't live as long, because my a1c will statisticly be higher than someone using pump thearpy and a CGMS. It's not fair. It's not fair that the quote-unquote "rich" get to live longer just because they make more money. What about those of us who chose to do what we love in college, and therefore won't have as high of a paying job?

It's not fair. I want my CGMS. I need it. (Don't I?)

What The Heck is Going ON?

2009-10-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

I am so tired lately.

Since my doctor's visit last month, my bg's have slowly crept up. I guess I'm frustrated. Frustrated that with all my work at eating well, exercising, and checking my blood sugar fifteen frackin' times a day over the summer didn't manage to move my A1c down a fraction of a percent. Frustrated that try as I may, a diet heavy in fruits and veges and healthy proteins and lower in carbs just doesn't fill me up like every weight loss, healthy eating article promised it would. Frustrated at my utter lack of weight loss, try as I may. Frustrated with other things in my life. Living with my parents. My lack of motivation in school. My lack of motivation to clean my room and clean out my car so I can have some semblance of order around me. My long distance relationship (or rather, the fact that it IS long distance and not so much the relationship itself). The list could go on, but it's not Wednesday, so I cant' be too woeful.

I just feel so tired.

It's the time of year. It's October, which is one of my favorite months. I LOVE the baseball playoffs. I love the weather. I love the bonfires (which there seem to be a lack of this year, due to my lack of a social life). I love the hayrides, the haunted houses, the corn mazes (thanks, living in the midwest), and dressing up for Halloween.

I don't love it getting dark earlier and the sun rising later (thanks, government, for pushing the switch off daylight savings back two weeks. Now I get to drive to school in the dark even MORE!). I do not love the flash floods. I do NOT love walking to class in the rain.

Until Thanksgiving, I'll be in this funk. It has happened just about every year since I was probably 14. And it will happen again in January, up until my birthday in early February. And I still refuse to get treatment for it. Or any type of depression that I may or may not have. Because I'm dumb. Because I'm lazy. Because I don't feel like talking about it to my parents.

And for this, my big D suffers. But I'll hopefully be pumping by Halloween (provided my father finds his pay stubs so I can get my financial aid). Dexcom is moving a big slower, but I found out yesterday that things ARE in motion.

So that's another long update on my seemingly uneventful, depressing life. I hope you enjoyed it. If I ever do get out of this funk, I promise I'll have shorter, more substantial updates soon.

Why do I blog?

2009-10-06T15:30:00.000-07:00

I have literally had this "new blog" window open for days.

I have blogger's block.

As an update, I DID talk to the CDE about pumping last Wednesday. My paperwork is done and now I am just waiting to hear back from Animas. Dex hasn't called me at all, which is discouraging. I'm going to call them tomorrow. I want the CGMS more than I want the pump, truth be told. I guess I want to be all "cutting edge."

Anyway, the subject at hand.

I've been going through my share of personal issues for quite some time now. I didn't feel they were appropriate to blog about, but they were all I could think about this week. I really began to question why I blog. I started writing several posts. Some were about diabetes and depression, but I felt they were too personal. Others were about why I feel unmotivated recently when it comes to diabetes and weight loss, but I felt those were too complainy, filled with excuses, and too personal.

So I began to wonder what the point of my blog even was.

I think I blog to get my thoughts out there. Yes, part of me wants people to read them. I am kind of a popularity whore, but I really do feel that people feed me and knowing that someone is connecting with me (especially right now when I seem to lack social contact outside school and the interwebs) really does make me feel like I'm making a difference.

I blog because I want others to know my story, in hope that it might somehow help them.

I blog as a creative outlet. I like to post a variety of different types of posts, whether they be short (hardly ever! ha), long, memes, vlogs, or picture-filled. I love variety in all aspects of life and why should my blog be any different?

I think mostly I blog to make a difference. I blog as I'm trying to come up with something better to do in order to help people with diabetes, people in need, people in general, and my own self. (Is that redundant? My Own Self?)

That is why I blog. And that is why I won't let blogger's block stop me from continuing to pursue my dream (vague as it may be right now).

-Sarah

Weekly Update

2009-09-28T09:19:00.000-07:00

I owe you guys two newly dx week posts. I promise to catch up on them.

Meanwhile, here is a Sunday Update in Vlog form.

Newly Dx Week: Post 2

2009-09-24T10:29:00.000-07:00

Diagnosis: Type 1 diabetes.

My dad was the one in denial. He took me over to a family friend's house. This friend had type 2 diabetes. He pricked my finger and tested my blood glucose levels. The numbers showed 400+. "Yeah, that's too high." Little did I know how too high it was.

By the time we arrived at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, my sugar had fallen to around 300. I don't remember much about getting to the hospital. I barely remember being taught how to give myself a shot and given a list of menu items to pick for my dinner. I remember asking my dad to bring me a blanket from home when he went back that evening (mom stayed with me). I remember exploring the toy room and reading Baby Sitters Club books. I remembered enjoying the hospital and making friends with other children on my hall. There were at least 2 others who had just been diagnosed with diabetes. One was an 18 month old toddler. I remember his screams as the pricked his finger.

For the first couple years, the doctors praised my progress. My a1c's fell from 13.4 to 9 to 6 within the first 3 months. They said I was doing better than most people my age did. Then, I hit puberty (late, thanks, diabetes). My numbers shot up. And something else happened. Diabetes Denial.

There are five stages to grief, including disease acceptance. Denial, Fear, Anger, Grief, and Acceptance. I think at first I felt fear. It moved into a combination of anger and denial that would stay with me for about ten years. To Be Continued.

Way Back Wednesday... Symptoms of Diabetes...

2009-09-23T09:17:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I started my own, more different version of Wayback Wednesday. Since I've only been d-blogging since this past July, the traditional version of Wayback Wednesday that I've witnessed on sites like DiabetesMine and Diabetesaliciousness doesn't really apply to me yet. So today, in honor of Diabetes Daily's Newly Diagnosed Week, I'm going to go "way back" to about eleven years ago and dialogue my personal diagnosis story.

I was always a chunky kid, so when people started asking me if I'd lost weight I felt pretty flattered. Maybe I was growing into a tall, beautiful, skinny young woman! My dance teacher was the first to notice my weight loss, since she usually saw me in skin-tight leotards and had an idea of how my body looked, since it was her job to help me train it.

"You must just be getting taller and thinning out." I noticed a hint of pride in her voice. The first few pounds probably made her hopeful that the short, chubby girl would one day have a dancer's body. But, it wasn't just 10 pounds. It wasn't just twenty pounds. I was getting thinner, and thinner, and thinner.

Other people were starting to notice too. One of my mom's fellow soccer moms asked her if I was anorexic one day after watching me play in my now-over sized jersey and looking fatigued the entire time. Anorexic, at 11? My coach had even moved me from mid-field, where I had been quick and an asset to the team, to defender, where I could spend half the game standing still and simply kick the ball off to a midfielder. Even he had noticed my fatigue.

What I noticed was the thirst. My family had just gotten a water cooler, the kind with the big jug on top that reminds you of office-based comedy TV shows. My mom thought I was drinking so much water because I thought the cooler was neat. I was enjoying trips to the water fountain during the school day way too much. I thought that water was the best tasting thing in the world.

My fifth grade teacher noticed how often I was asking to go to the bathroom. I was going between five and six times a day. She told my mom, "either she is really bored in class or something is wrong with her. You might get her tested for a bladder infection or diabetes."

She was right, but we didn't find out until the following school year.

The primary care physician my mom took me to didn't want to test me for type 1 diabetes, despite the list of symptoms my mom gave him and my weight (I was 5'2 and weighed about 80 lbs). I was more concerned about the headaches I was having. "I think I need allergy medicine," I told him. My mom was vigilant. She said, "Please give her a blood test for diabetes." The doctor followed her request and that was the first day I visited the "vampires" - aka the lab, with the long needles and the tubes filled with blood. I don't think I was that scared by it because I don't remember being upset.

The last thing I remember before going to the hospital the next day was eating a special sucker I had won in class as I walked home from school and thinking, "This may be the last sugar you ever eat."

Me at 13, proud PWD member of the Drexel High School Dance Team

To be continued on Thursday and look for these posts later this week:

Upcoming posts for newly Dx Week:
-Thursday: The Diagnoses
-Friday: Disease Denial, part three of my journey
-Saturday: A Wake-Up Call, part four of my journey
-Sunday: Looking to the future: The journey never ends

Stay Tuned!

No Excuses. Just Observations.

2009-09-21T09:55:00.001-07:00

A few months ago, I visited the dietitian in my endo's clinic for the first time. I didn't really like her, but she did tell me something.

"Diabetics have obstacles to overcome when losing weight, like low blood sugar."

I remember thinking that that was BS. Why on earth would lows prevent me from losing weight? At the time, I was running between 200 and 240 most of the time and never really worried about lows. I had them sometimes, but almost never.

Last night, I found out.

It was mostly my fault. I should have worked out earlier in the day. I had a plan, I didn't stick to it.

Well, I finally did convince myself to get on the treadmill at about 11 pm. But, eager to avoid yesterday's drama, I made the smart decision to check my blood sugar first.

73.

One juice box, some peanuts, and half a cup of milk, and 20 minutes later, I was only up to 81.

I waited another 20 minutes. 85.

*sigh* now, at 20 til midnight, I decided my plans for working out were not going to happen. I did some stretches and called it a night.

Grr to you, diabetes. Grr to you for ruining my workout plans.

(And to just put icing on my metaphorical cake, I fell asleep at 103 and woke up at 241.)

Weight Loss check-in - Week 1

2009-09-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

Starting Weight: 233 lbs
Goal Weight: 133 lbs

I am going to start doing weight loss check ins on Saturday night/Sunday morning/afternoons. That means posting a blog do the d-blog about how my personal program is going, posting weekly goals, posting my weekly weigh-in (which will happen on Sunday mornings, so no weight tonight), and updating you guys on the progress for each weekly goals.

I have not been trying so far. I was disappointed to find when I went to the doctor that I weigh the exact same as I weighed 5 months ago. Major bummer. I was expecting at least a 5 pound change, seeing as how I have been eating less, and better. So, my a1c and my weight were stagnant. That's no good. I don't like it!

New plan. New regimen. New time!

I can do it this time. It's for my health. It's for my heart. It's for my future family. It's for me.

This weeks goals include:
-cardio every day (yes, EVERY day! a butt kick to get started)
-weight training on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday
-Eat 4-5 meals a day, each with a fruit or vege and a protein.
-Get at least 7 hours of sleep every night

I will chart my daily progress in my personal blog.

PWD's, UNITE

2009-09-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

D O C
Diabetes
Online
Community

"Doc" - like the dwarf?

The DOC has become an integral part of my diabetes care in just a few short months.

It all started because I was serving endless front desk shifts at my internship at George Washington Carver National Monument. A "Front Desk Shift" is where you sit at the front desk for four to eight hours at a time and greet visitors as they come inside. Luckily, during the long, boring days when there aren't many visitors (not every day, only some) you can get on the computer! YEAH!

So during those long, boring days I discovered Google Reader. Which lead me to a bundle called "Diabetes." Which lead me to Diabetes Daily, Diabetes Mine, and Six Until Me, and their plethora of excellent blogs.

This lead me to start my own diabetes blog (which you happen to be reading). Somehow I started following all these people on twitter, which lead me to other networking and informational sites like tudiabetes, diabetic rockstar, dlife, and 1happydiabetic.

It's a process. You have to battle diabetes every day. A1c's don't fall 1 percent in between two 3 month visits. It takes lots of time and lots of attention to detail. And the Diabetes Online Community provides the support I need. I know I can recieve encouragement, information, and a smack on the head from my DOC friends if I need it. I know that between the four social media sites listed above, I can find close to 20,000 resources in the form of people just like me who use their sites.

Thank you, DOC. You Rock.

PWD's, UNITE!

THANK YOU, PWDS FOR WANTING TO FIND MORE INFORMATION ON YOUR DIABETES, OR TO HELP OTHERS WITH DIABETES - YOU ROCK

THANK YOU, TO THE FOUNDERS OF MY FAVORITE DIABETES WEBSITES - I WON'T LIST YOUR NAMES, GOODNESS KNOWS I'LL GET THEM WRONG OR FORGET SOMEONE- BUT YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE - YOU ROCK

THANK YOU, AL GORE FOR INVENTING THE INTERNET- OH WAIT -

THANK YOU, INTERNET FAIRIES, FOR MAKING THE DOC POSSIBLE - YOU ROCK

NO THANKS TO YOU, DIABETES - YOU DON'T SO MUCH ROCK - BUT YOU GIVE US SOMETHING TO PUT UP WITH - A REASON TO UNITE

PWD'S, UNITE!

A Visit with Dr. M.

2009-09-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

I got to see Dr. M. yesterday and the appointment went way better than expected.

In the past, Dr. M. has been sub-par. I switched to her when my time with my traveling peds endo expired (aka when I turned 17) because of numerous praises from some of her diabetes patients in my church. I expected miracles. I got four years of A1cs in the 8 and 9 percents.

In retrospect, I know this was my own doing. Diabetes, I have learned, is a disease we have to handle ourselves and the doctor is merely there to guide us. But I must say, after my last few visits, I have been left questioning my choice of doctors and thinking about endo-shopping.

Dr. M redeemed herself on Wednesday. After reading this article at Diabetes Mine, I am certain it's because she was much happier that I arrived 1. with a weeks worth of blood sugar and insulin dose logs, 2. with ideas on how to improve my self-care (pump and sensor) and 3. educated on which pump and sensor I wanted to try, as well as what to expect and not expect from these devices. Never before have I arrived so ready for an appointment. Turns out she's a good doctor when I'm a good patient.

The appointment started out with a disappointment. When the medical assistant gal weighed me, I weighed almost the exact same as I did five months ago. What a bummer. I'd been trying really hard to eat better. Oh, well. Throwing in exercise and trying again in 4 months. Next was vitals. At my urgent care appointment a few weeks ago, my BP was 140/102. Now as someone with a family history of high blood pressure, this concerned me. The nurse at UC assured me it was probably just from being sick and perhaps from some of the OTC meds I had been taking. She was right. BP was normal at the endo's.

At any rate, the rest of the visit went smoothly. Even though my appointment was at 12:15 and she didn't show up in my exam room until 12:50, it didn't feel like I had been waiting that long. Even though I was fighting BG's in the 200's and starving because I still hadn't eaten (bad sarah), I remained positive and didn't freak out. She set me up with the Certified Diabetes Educator in her office and seemed excited to get me on a pump.

In the past, I have asked about pumping and was either shot down or met with a less than excited "ho hum here's the cde's number, call her." Never before did she write on my check out sheet for the secretary to actually SCHEDULE me an appointment upon my exit from the office. I knew I wasn't ready before. If I was, I would have been more pro-active. Dr. M knew I wasn't too. But now we are both ready. 13 days til the appointment. Anxiety!

Being a good diabetes patient has paid off. My body feels a lot better when my a1c is in the 7's than it did when it was in the 8's and 9's. M assured me that I didn't need a 5.5 a1c to get pregnant (phew), a goal I have for the next 5-8 years. Below six, she said. My fears are relieved. That's not going to keep me from hitting my goal of 6.3 (a goal she said was probably too low, but we'll see).

That's all for today. When I read Chris's post today at "A Consequence of Hypoglycemia", I had to laugh. All of my blogs are stream of consciousness.

Monday Iz Evuryday

2009-09-14T07:38:00.000-07:00

Personal. Information. Hey, that's what blogging is all about, right? Exposing yourself to the world via the itnerwebs? Allowing anybody and everybody to read your innermost thoughts and personal information on your life, and, in d-bloggers case, health?

Depression and anxiety. As if Diabetes isn't bad enough by itself. I am more of an anxiety sufferer myself. It's genetic. (She get it from her ma-ma). My older younger brother (as opposed to the baby brother) deals with it too. We all chew on our fingers. It's rather gross.

My point is, I got problems, man. My personal anxiety and depression are mostly triggered by changes in my routine and life. Which stinks in college, because you get a new schedule and often times a new living arrangement every semester.

I enjoyed the routine of working the same five days, forty hours a week this summer. It gave me something to get used to. And unlike a college schedule, the same schedule every day. But moving back home, being unemployed, and commuting to school (1 hour each way) only two days a week has thrown me for a loop. I have been down this past two weeks and it's driving me crazy. Spending August with David and then sending him back to school without any real plans for visits did not help in the least.

Sure, my blood sugar checking habits and eating habits have been great. My sleeping habits, exercising habits, and homework doing habits, not so much. Not to mention everything I had in the other house is still in the garage and my room currently looks like a war zone (although this is generally true). I'm 3 weeks behind in two of my classes. Ok, technically three. I just spaced on my online bio quiz that was due on Friday. This is my last semester. I need to not fail. I need to graduate.

I still haven't done the final paperwork for my finaincial aid. I forgot to get enrolled in an internship credit. Not sure if I can still do that. I may be one upper-level credit hour short of graduating. The only thing I've kept up on has been teaching, and only because other people depend on me for that.

Personal. Information.

This week, I better get to it. I better pull myself together and get out of this funk. If I don't, I'm going to have to start seeing someone for this. I am still not ready for that. But I'm giving myself an ultimatum. Catch up on your homework. Clean your room. Sleep at night, not during the day. You have til next Monday. If you don't, you're seeing a therapist.

I hope I listen to myself.

Monkey knows I can do it. -->

September 11, 2001

2009-09-11T15:08:00.000-07:00

You can read my September 11 post here.

I feel like a failure as an American.

Murr.

A Different Wayback Wednesday: Vlog

2009-09-09T10:04:00.000-07:00

I took a different approach at Wayback Wednesday. Enjoy some experiences from when I was first diagnosed, in vlog form. Please excuse the ugly afghan on my window (It's so my cats don't destroy my blinds) and my sick-sounding voice.

Voila!

P.S. Please keep my boyfriend in your thoughts and prayers. He found out today that he DOES have Coeliac Disease (aka Gluten Allergy). He is kinda bummed. I am too. Some of our favorite meals include gluten! But hopefully this will pave the way for us both to live a more healthy lifestyle and have long, happy lives together.

All day I dream of...Pump? And CGM?

2009-09-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

So this weekend, as I said, I wasn't feeling well. I took the day off school today in order to try and fully "recuperate."

This sickness has caused me to sleep a lot. A. Lot.

I have also spent my free time researching Continous Glucose Monitors, Pumps, Pods, and the like. This has ranged from asking my twitter friends what they pump with and why they like their pump to checking out various pump company's websites to calling my insurance company to see what they'll cover (no pods, sadface, and the lady had no idea what a CGM was).

Needless to say, when I close my eyes I have been dreaming of this:

Yes! A PINK ANIMAS PINGY PINGY PING.

And THIS:

My VERY OWN dexy dexter.

(Yes their names will be Pingy Pingy Ping and Dexy Dexter. I know, I'm so original. )

PLEASE, PLEASE, BABY JESUS IN THE MANGER....I WANT!

(/five year old WHINE).

But for now, I can only dream....

Morning Walk

2009-09-07T19:52:00.001-07:00

HI all! Well, I've had a bout of sickness this weekend, but I am feeling better. I wanted to do a picture blog on the institution of my new morning tradition I'll be partaking in five days a week, once my sickness subsides. I kicked it off on Friday. It's called "Early Morning Walk." I hope to reach two benefits using these walks. One is weight loss, the other is getting my "dawn phenomenon" numbers down (aka Morning Highs).

So on Friday, I set out to walk. And took lots of pictures! I'd had a fever at 3am by this time, but I went a head and walked anyway since I was feelin alright.

Oops, left a tennie in the car!

On my way out, I took a picture of the diabetes mess I left in the living room.

Three in a row: My Brother's Girlfriend's car, my brother's car, and my car.

Got the other tennie!

I be walkin. :)

I reach the EPIC five way stop in my neighborhood.

The next portion of my walk is called "America! Eff yeah!"

Above is me trying to take a picture with the flag.

People in Southwest Missouri love America (Eff YEah!)

This family had two BIG flags!! (Eff Yeah!)

Three flags in a row (Eff Yeah!)

By this time, I am a little tired. :(

But I can't turn back now. I'm halfway! I came across the funny tree:

My legs were starting to ache. I needed to stop and stretch!

But first, thumbs up to a pretty red flower.

And morning glories!! My favorites.

Finally I get to stop and stretch, using this telephone pole for balance. Yay! I can now make it home!

Five way stop. Serious business. Can you see all five?

Where Michigan Street meets Michigan Street.

This dog has a story. One time, I was taking our German Shepherd Lady for a walk. She is generally well mannered. When we passed this house, there were two dogs inside the fence going crazy at her! Barking their heads off, I mean, really going at it. And then, the little dog jumped over the fence! I had to tie lady to a fence post and carry the dog back to the front door. Turned out she actually belong to the people NEXT door! She had jumped two fences just to get at lady, who was probably five times her size.

Here is our local grafitti. I am only two blocks away at this point. If you can't see it, the grafitti artists have crossed off "Cross traffic" and written "Mosh." "Mosh does not stop" was their point.

There is my house, the third one down! I can hear my dogs now!

Someone has been drinking....

Home sweet home!!!

Hugging my favorite oak tree (I think I look like an elf in this picture)

Smokey was there to greet me.

And we relaxed with cuddles on the couch (I promise I wasn't strangling him! Haha).

I hope you enjoyed the pictures of my neighborhood.

To Vlog or not to Vlog is NOT the Question

2009-09-04T07:14:00.001-07:00

Of course I was going to vlog. It was never a question of vlogging or not vlogging. It was when to vlog and what to vlog about.

I actually have a whole blog dedicated to vlogging. It only has two posts on it, but it does exist.

So I had a decent vlogging experience. I feared my cell phone, my cat, or my dad's annoying chiming clock interrupting; none of these things happened. Kind of wish the cat had interrupted, that would have been funny. He is a good guy, that Smokey.

ANYWAY, here it is! The V-LOG! Take it away, Sarah Jane!

Weight Loss, Weight Schmoss

2009-09-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

I am inspired. Awed. And for now, completely motivated.

Twitter is really where my involvement in the DOC came to fruition. Tonight as I was twittering with some fellow PWD's, I was motivated by one of my new found friends, George. George recently wrote this awesome blog post, where he challenged himself to lose 40 lbs. Well not really challenged, a challenge implies that something could not be met. George IS going to lose the weight. I know he his, he knows he is.

George, another twitter-friend Jaimie, and myself have been talking on twitter about starting anew. We all decided that tonight will be our fattest night ever. Which is why I'm scrambling to post this blog.

Tonight WILL be the last time I am this fat. I WILL lose 50 lbs. It may take me 50 weeks, it may take me 100 weeks, but I WILL do it.

I am going to make short term goals, and try to meet them. My first short term goal is to get my butt in bed within the next hour, and then get up at nine and go for a walk. Exercise is my worst Nemesis. I must battle it and conquer it first if I am going to make any progress.

Ouch, my shins hurt already. :(

(I CAN DO IT)

I am NOT Ready for the MS 150...

2009-09-02T11:28:00.000-07:00

BACKGROUND: Biking used to be my favorite form of exercise. I would bike 2-3 times a week, either a long distance or a short ride. I enjoyed it immensely. My dad and I biked together a lot. In recent years, we have enjoyed the (perhaps dangerous) activity of tying our dogs to our bikes and taking them for "rides." One time, we took Brutus, our boxer-dane, too far, and he got very tired and wouldn't go any further. Every year, my dad rides in the MS 150. He's currently training for this year's, which is in a couple weeks. GO DAD, I am so proud of you!

<--My baby Brutus all sprawled out. BACKGROUND PT 2: THE DIABETES DAILY SEPTEMBER CHALLENGE
Over on DD (see above link), David, one of the co-founders, has issued a challenge for the month of September. It's not really specific, just challenges each member to pick one thing to better themselves in the month of September. I chose exercise, because let's face it, this is something I rarely do. In the past 4 years I have gained 40 lbs. I am sick of it! So I have decided to endure the pain and suffering that is exercising and challenge myself this month.

Yesterday, I failed. I was supposed to work out at my school's new rec center, but it has still yet to open (hopefully it opened today, but I won't be on campus to find out). When I was planning on going for an evening walk, my bg dropped to 58. Ugh, I hate you diabetes.

PT 3: THIS MORNING
This morning, like most every morning, I started out with a BG around 250. Around noon, it was still in the upper 100s. I was FRUSTRATED, to say the least. This happens to me almost every morning! Nothing I try fixes it. SO. I decided to go for a bike ride.

BIKE RIDE:
I had it in my head that I would make it a 30 minute ride, then decided on 20. "MY" bike has a flat, so I took out one of my dad's 1234 billion bikes. (Ok, he has six). After adjusting the seat (I had to put it ALL THE WAY down - shorty!) I took off down my street.

So after about 3 minutes, my heart was pounding, my legs were aching, and my chest was heavy. "Guess I haven't ridden in a while," I thought to myself. But I pursued on. I made a loop around a cul-d-sac and almost decided to head back home, when I decided to go for the hill.

"You can do this! It's not that big of a hill." (I do live in the Ozarks, a mountain range in southern MO, northern AR and eastern OK, but Springfeild is on a platau. It's mostly flat.)

So I started up the hill. I came to the top, where there was a stop sign. I checked, no cars. Time to proceed. My elbows, having been locked for 10 mintues with my whole upper body weight pressing down on them, were starting to scream at me. "UNLOCK US, PLEASE!"

Dang, I haven't biked in a while! This hill is tiny! What the heck is wrong with me? I was sorely dissappointed in my physical ability.

I continued on. Down the hill. I looked at the next hill, looming in front of me. It was bigger than the last one.

I can do this.

My legs ached. My elbows screamed. My butt yelled. My lungs wanted to give up. My ears hurt from the chilly wind blowing into them. My body said STOP. But I said no. I made it up that gosh darn hill. And Darn it if I didn't make it home.

It turned out to be a 20 mintue trip. Hurray! I reached my goal. But when I got inside, my bg was still 165.

Dang it.

UPDATE: THE REASON THE BIKE RIDE WAS SO HARD IS BECAUSE THE TIRES ARE LOW. I NEGLECTED TO CHECK THEM. I WILL AIR THEM UP AND TRY AGAIN ON FRIDAY. I HOPE IT'S EASIER!

Me Me...Tuesday?

2009-09-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

Apparently, National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week is coming up. Who knew! The things I have learned since joining the Diabetes Online Community.

Having an invisible illness often makes me think about things. What if I have a low and nobody around me knows I'm diabetic? What if I'm in a car accident and no one informs the medics of my condition? I am not one who enjoys wearing a medical ID. I don't wear a lot of jewelry in general, and if I did want to wear jewelry and had on a necklace that "clashed" i would be terribly upset. Needless to say I don't even own a medical ID at this point. I should invest, no?

I promise I have "real" posts coming later this week. I'm even working on a vlog! I am still trying to get into my new routine.

I stole this from Rachel over on wordpress who's link I found on some one's random twitter.

1. The illness I live with is: Type 1 diabetes

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 1998

3. But I had symptoms since: 1997 ish (I'm not exactly sure)

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: taking the time to test even when it is inconvenient

5. Most people assume: I can't eat whatever I want; that they are my doctor.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: High Blood Sugars!

7. My favorite medical TV show is: I hate all medical TV shows. I can't stand "medical stuff" or biology stuff. Medical stuff grosses me out.

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: blood glucose meter<---absolutely 9. The hardest part about nights are: waking up at 6am having to pee from a high! Or going low 10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. One vitamin, nothing else is really for diabetes.

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: haven't really gotten that far in my journey yet.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: invisible. My health is my business, and with diabetes, unless I'm having an episode, I don't have to disclose it to people or have anyone look at me funny.

13. Regarding working and career: umm, nothing has really been of an issue so far in my career, but I am really just starting that particular journey.

14. People would be surprised to know: I (almost) totally disregarded my illness and lived in denial for ten years, seldom testing, eating whatever I wanted, and only taking shots when I felt high.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: realizing that I am doing my body damage by failing to make a lifestyle change.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: I have never allowed my illness to keep me from doing anything I wanted to do. I have, however, used it as an excuse to avoid weight loss ("It's just harder for people on insulin to lose weight." I knew then and know now that that is bulls***.). I hope that one day I can answer this question, "I was scared to have children, but look at my beautiful family!"

17. The commercials about my illness: I haven't seen many that don't' involve medicare or really any geared towards treating type 1.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: mixing grape soda with cherry kool aid. See also: This list

19. It was really hard to have to give up: pasta! I love pasta so much.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Blogging

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: I always feel "normal" except when I don't. Obviously. But if I could have one day of eating anything and it not affecting my blood glucose numbers, I'd definitely have grape soda, cotton candy, and a carmel apple.

22. My illness has taught me: Taking care of my body helps my mental health too.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: ”You can’t/shouldn’t eat that!”

24. But I love it when people: don't even mention my illness and act as if needles and finger pricks are no big deal.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Here let me give you the DIABETES ONLINE COMMUNITY, use them, love them, be one of them! "one of us, one of us, one of us!"

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: it doesn't have to be your LIFE, it only has to be PART of your life.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: D (the bf, which is confusing cause most people call Diabetes D) is SO helpful when I am low. Since he has gone back to school for the semester, when I am low I get a little bit more freaked out without having someone to actually bring me sugar/monitor/etc. (I miss you!)

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I am doing my best to be a diabetes advocate and to help other PWD's know that they CAN succeed, make the lifestyle changes required to live a full, LONG, healthy life!

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: pretty special, I won't lie.

TTFN!

Manic Monday: Moving Day!

2009-08-31T09:17:00.000-07:00

I have had the craziest August.

This weekend, I spent all my free time packing and moving my stuff back into my parent's house. Thank god they're alive and will let me move back in with them Otherwise, I'd be on the street (and without health insurance).

While I am still very angry about how the whole situation went down (out of personal respect for my former roommates, I'll leave out the gory details, but it was NOT a good situation), I am actually OK (so far) with the prospect of living with my parents and driving an hour each way to get to school. Benifit: I get to live in my favorite city, Springfield, MO. I LOVE YOU SPRINGFIELD. It contains people and places I love and I will never be bored while living at home. My parents are so entertaining, and I have done a decent job of keeping up with people since I left for college, so I still have many friends and acquaintances there.

I never really enjoyed Joplin, but I stayed because I fell in love with the school. I don't know what it is about Missouri Southern. It is a smallish, D-2 school. I like it because the teachers have been wonderful. I feel like many of my teachers deserve bigger schools with bigger salaries and bigger research gigs. I get the benefits of going to a state four-year university (and the state school with the cheapest tuition in Missouri!) but the small class sizes of a small school. No 500 student general psych classes for me! (Well, my general psych class was online, so it didn't really matter, but I digress.)

What I'm saying here is, this weekend has been a blur. I actually haven't showered. (EW, TMI!) Yesterday, my blood glucose spent the whole day in the uppper 200's to 300's, except once around dinner when it crashed to 50, and then I way (way) over corrected and wound up at 394. OUCH!

I guess I've learned that when other things are stressing you out, you can't let the BG's stress you out on top of it all. It's just not worth it. I'll accept my morning reading of 196. Funny, that's lower than most mornings.

Day to Night

2009-08-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

I'm becoming a weekend blogger. I guess it's because I'm busy during the week now. I hope that once I get moved in at home and D (the boyfran) gets moved in at HIS school (4 hours away, gotta love those LDR's!), I'll settle into a schedule and can fit a weekday blog post in. If not, I'll stick to weekend blogging. It's cool to be different anyway.

So, for the past few months I have been "trying" to get my diabetes under control. Let's face it, I was just tired of feeling so sick all of the time!

Lately this is how the conversation between my brain and blood sugar has gone:

9AM

Body: Holy crap, I gotta pee. I have a headache and my muscles are all stiff. I must be high. What did I eat last night? *checks log* nothing after 7? and my bedtime number was 114? this is weird...

BG: yeah, well. i enjoy hanging out up here in the mornings, it's been a new past time of mine.

Body: Well quite frankly I don't appreciate it. It makes it harder to get up in the morning and leaves me feeling groggy. Please stop!

11am

Body: Why am I still high? I took six units of insulin!

BG: I am immune to your insulin powers! I am having a blast on the top of this ferris wheel. please just leave me alone! I enjoy tormenting your kidneys and sending you to the bathroom every ten minutes!

Body: Blargh

1pm

Body: Hey, BG, you're finally deciding to cooperate even though I ate far more carbs than I should have at lunch. Why the change of heart?

BG: oh I don't know, I was beginning to be afraid of heights. I decided to hang out down here for a while.

Body: well, ok, just please don't fall too far. I'd like to be functional this afternoon.

3pm

Body: I'm awful hungry. I think I'll have some applesauce or a granola bar.

BG: Probably a good idea, i'm feeling a little short of glucose. ¡Damelo!

5pm
Body: can't breathe, can't think, can't move.

BG: neither can i, what happened to that sugar you ate?

From there, it's a crap shoot. I'm either great for the rest of the evening and go to bed at 100, or I'm high til about 2 hours after dinner and then I once again go to bed at 100 (Usually, a work out happens after dinner). I think a work out might fix the morning highs if I got up and got one in early, BUT, that doesn't fix them happening in the middle of the night.

*sigh* Just another reason why I need a CGM and/or a pump. I'm NOT looking forward to fighting the insurance company this coming month. My most recent experience with them was, before I switched to mail order, calling them with readings far above what they should have been because my insurance was refused at the pharmacy. ($400? You've got to be kidding me! It's supposed to be $15! Followed by hours of no insulin). Dispite countless pleas from both my doctor and me to the insurance company to keep from switching to mail order, we finally gave in.

The fight for CGM and the pumpy will begin in t-minus 2 weeks. I want to be ready. Advice?

My Very Own D-Challenge

2009-08-26T11:59:00.000-07:00

Well faithful followers, here it is. My first dblog procrastination-post of my final semester of undergrad. The first of many, I am certain. I have lots of homework due tomorrow (yes, homework on the first day! How cruel, college professors!), but I am not doing it right now because I am blogging. Story of my life.

So I had a lapse this week. I really didn't feel like having diabetes for about 3 days, and so I stopped. I know everyone has these days, but I was doing so well! But today I am back on track, at least as far as testing and dosing goes. As far as good numbers and eating well and exercising goes, not so much. But with time, eh?

Here are my goals for the end of the semester:

School-wise:

Pass all classes with at least a 3.0
Don't get behind, especially in my online class
Work on homework for at least 2 hours a day
Take the GRE and get into graduate school
GRADUATE with my BA in History

D-wise:

Test at least five times a day
Talk to doc about CGM
Try to get on a pump - I am finally READY
Try to exercise 200 minutes a week
Make healthier food choices and HOPEFULLY naturally crave healthier choices and naturally eat less by the end (just in time for the holidays :-/)

THAT BEING SAID...

My D-challenge this week for myself is going to be TESTING.

TESTING D-CHALLENGE RULES

DO test at least every 2 HOURS A DAY
DO test overnight mid-sleep
DO record BG's, food stuffs, exercise, and stress levels
DO make a pretty graph for my own viewing pleasure

No, I won't test every 2 hours forever, at least I hope not. My doc only allows me 5 strips/day (which I'm going to ask to be upped) on my current prescription. Anything more wouldn't be covered under my amazing insurance plan. BUT. as I explained here, I am backed up on those darned little things. One of my goals is to get rid of them!

I just want to know my body. I want to know how things affect me, and how I can counter their effects, everything from stress to food to exercise. SO this week, the plan is to try different types of foodstuffs, be under a lot of stress (easy, I'm moving!), try different types of exercises, and figure out how these things affect my blood sugar. We will see how much I learn in a week!!

No woes this week - my woeful Wednesday is filled with non- D related things. Please be thinking of me as I pack up and move back in with my parents this week and prepare for a twice-a-week hour long commute to school. I am worried about this beyond belief, but I think once I get into it it will be easier.

Also, thank you for being patient as I learn this d-blog thing. Right now, it's a ramble ramble keep track of my own self kinda thing. I enjoy reading and participating in the community and hope to become a stronger member with time.

I still haven't learned how to end blogs....so for now...hasta luego.

Test Strips....and things.

2009-08-23T00:37:00.000-07:00

Test strips! We already know they get into everything. If you don't know they get into everything, follow me around for a day. Chances are you will find a trail of test strips behind me. My best friend gets so angry when she finds them at her house. I can't help it! I often leave the house with them sticking to my shoes. It's unavoidable.

But what I really wanted to write about is the great news I have regarding test strips. That is, I am actually using them! I have a backed up stash. Before I started using mail order scripts (BOO!) my dad would stock me up before I left for a trip, school, etc. I also got a large "three month" supply after my first large shipment of supplies from my mail-order company. I have boxes in my dresser drawers. Luckily they have a long shelf life and I try to find the ones that expire the quickest when opening new vials.

But, since I have started checking five to ten times a day, my supply is depleting. It is very exciting for me! I need to go home and count how many I have so I can update how many I have used. Someday I may actually have to order some! I'll be excited for that day.

My newly increased test strip usage has left me in a pickle this weekend. When I left Joplin on Thursday, I had the strips left in the in-use vial (probably 5-10) plus one more vial of 25. Now for four days, if I check 5 times a day, that is plenty. But I don't check five times a day, more like closer to the ten side. Needless to say, I'm stuck in Springfield until tomorrow afternoon with but one strip to my name.

I tried to get more, I really did! I went to the pharmacy to see if my prescription was still good. It wasn't, it expired in March. Not having 30 dollars to spare, I am stuck with one strip. One strip for approximately 14 more hours. When should I use this strip? When I wake up? Before lunch tomorrow? Save it in case I feel low at some point?

I'm not afraid of not testing, I'm afraid of the numbers that will result after this period of nontesting. I will get home, test, and it will probably be somewhere in the 250 to 300 range. I am not looking forward to that number. I wish I could correct it now, but I only have one strip.

Lesson Learned: Back up the back up. (You'd think I would know this by now, with all my forgetting...)

Lesson Learned: Get emergency pharmacy scripts.

Lesson Learned: Stop being so testing crazy. Do you really think your 210 will drop to 110 in 20 minutes? (NO).

Lesson learned: Stop blogging at 3am.

Woeful Wednesday: Frustration

2009-08-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

This week I have been dealing with quite a few things. My internship ended on Monday, I"m getting ready for school, trying to have fun in my week off and also find an apartment (for four months?) and a job. Woo! It sounds like a lot to me.

I have also been checking my levels like crazy. I am trying to just get this diabetes thing under control. It has been out of my hands for so long! I Need to take the reins. I'm starting to think about things like heart disease and kidney failure and things that could crop up as soon as 15-20 years from now of I don't get my numbers down. And I have been doing pretty well with my follow through!

Here is the thing though - even with the hourly check, I am still having trouble with highs. And I'm really sick of these spikes! I have even tried cutting back on the carb intake and limiting it to 30 g a meal.

Here are some things I am thinking about doing in order to help. Please tell me your thoughts on these things!

1. CGM. I think that the knowledge of my blood sugar throughout the day (and esp at night) will help me figure out what to do. I want to read more on this when I have time so I'm informed when I ask my endo about it in September.

2. Pump Pump! I have thought about going on a pump for years! But I am nervous about the cost, among other things. Soon, I'll have to go off my parent's insurace (in less than 18 months IF I stay in school til then...wow I am nervous!) and I think maybe I should try to get one while they'll at least pay PART of it. (I'm on United, they're okay, they make me mail order supplies which I hate!)

3. I need to find a Registered Dietitian. The lady I saw who works in my Dr.'s office was an epic FAIL. She told me about carb counting (duh) and that if I wanted to lose 2 lbs a week, I needed to eat 1500 calories a day. That was the extent of my hour and a half appointment.

And Test! Test! Test! I was testing once a day, if that. I am now slowly working my way through my test trip backed-up supply! It makes me happy to see them disappear...

That's all for Woeful Wednesday. Catch you on the flip side!

2009-08-15T08:46:00.001-07:00

Things I Miss

2009-08-15T05:52:00.001-07:00

I recently commented on this blog by Amylia Grace on Diabetes Daily about the thing I miss most about the pre-diabetes years (there were only eleven).

"mixing grape soda with red kool aid and having the most amazing drink ever. That is what I'd do with a day off from diabetes. Drink grape soda, and mix some of it with red kool aid. "

I have been able to find diet Orange soda out the wazoo but when it comes to diet grape, it's nowhere to be found. It makes me sad. Grape is my favorite flavor. I don't know if I genuinely like the taste or if I just like it because it's purple. And why I mixed it with red kool-aid (strawberry, cherry, fruit punch, doesn't matter!) I'll never know what my eight year old brain was thinking. I also think once I split a grape and put it on the edge of a glass like a lemon. I really thought I was a culinary genius.

A list of things I miss:

1. Baked Potatoes - I used to eat them, but since I became Amylin deficient I can't anymore without going into my "high blood sugar coma" state where I sleep for 2 hours.
2. Cotton Candy and
3. Carmel Apples - I just went to the fair last week, couldn't eat hardly anything!
4. Deep dish pizza - see baked potato. I stick with thin crust now!
5. Bleached, white, bad for you pasta - occasionally I treat myself to chef boyardee ravioli or make my famous Alfredo pasta, but I can only eat a tiny bit since both the sauce (made from flour and milk) and the pasta make me in to "comastate"
6. Sweet Tea - didn't really drink this as a child, but since McAlister's became a frequent Sunday lunch venue, the sips I've had of others have made me jealous.
7. Regular maple syrup - for a while I used sugar free, but it tastes so watery and has a weird after taste - so now I just put butter and sometimes peanut butter on my pancakes (when I eat them)
8. Non callused fingers - oh how i miss the days of soft hands.
9. A mixture of minute rice, milk, butter, and sugar - I know, weird - this was something my mom and I used to enjoy together! Now I can enjoy it in small heaps of brown rice, but brown rice just doesn't taste the same in the sugary mixture as the white did
10. Halloween candy - I was diagnosed on November 6, 1998 - my bag of Halloween candy was given away to my two younger brothers. Painful! It still hurts! I now buy discount Halloween candy and give it away to the members of the MSSU History Club - and take one or two for myself - but they don't understand the significance!

What do you miss about your pre-diabetes days?

Woeful Wednesday: Complain Time

2009-08-12T08:57:00.000-07:00

WOES FOR THE WEEK:

1. Monitor, quit having dying batteries! Update: last night I found the lost monitor, which I assumed was locked in my boyfriend's car. It wasn't. It was hiding between my bed frame and my mattress. I found it with my toes and tossed it on the floor, causing my roommate's dogs to go mad. I was so happy to have my One Touch Ultra 2 back! While I enjoy the look of the Ultra Mini, my backup, I don't necessarily enjoy its simplicity. I am one who likes to tag my readings. Plus I just feel more comfortable with the larger design - no idea why.

AT ANY RATE, I turned it on to follow up on my "mysterious" high reading this morning and it was DYING. The little battery symbol is on. I'M FLAT BROKE. I CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY NEW MONITOR BATTERIES. Geesh. Come on, people! I guess I'm stuck with the mini until I can get new batteries. At least I have the working lanceting device (what I like to call a "poker").

2. Sugars, what is up with your high morning numbers? OK so I shouldn't say that. I've been doing excellent with checking every hour while I'm at work (trying to see how things affect my blood sugar without splurging on one of those fancy continuous monitoring devices), once I get home I tend to forget about Mr. Diabetes and how he is affecting my life. I generally head straight to the kitchen (starving), eat (sometimes low carb, but more often than not a meal containing pasta or rice), and then take insulin without checking my levels. This spirals me into a post-high-carb comanap, (I realize I shouldn't use coma lightly when diabetes is involved, HOWEVER, when I am in my high blood sugar nap state, I am dead to the world). Pass out for two hours, wake up, take a shot (without checking), and proceed to gorge on whatever food is lying around my house. OOPS. Nighttime, tired, bored munchies. Get me every time.

SO, BRAIN, learn that you can't just have diabetes eight hours of the day!! WAKE UP, SARAHJANE.

So not so mysterious is the reason I was 386 when I got to work this morning. Oh, and that giant cookie I ate for breakfast when i had a perfectly good frozen omelet in my freezer....

The Case of the Forgotton Monitor

2009-08-07T07:54:00.000-07:00

So yesterday i thought it would be a brilliant idea to put on fake nails. Ha. Horrible. Typing is next to impossible.

Anyway. A few days ago I decided to check my levels every hour in order to see where i was and how food affected my numbers. I was doing really well (mostly in the 90-110 range, yay!) and with the exception of forgetting in the evenings once I left work, I was keeping on schedule. That is, until I got to work yesterday and didn't have my monitor.

While on the subject, let me now take the time to say that my own worst enemy when it comes to diabetes is my own forgetfulness. Forget to take insulin, forget insulin, forget new needle for pen, forget to replenish test strips, forget to test, forget meter, forget emergency sugar, forget to eat. Absent mindedness, ADD, and diabetes don't mix well.

I went the whole day without it. A few months ago, when I less than cared about my health, this would have been no big deal. But now, it is. I should have gone home to get it, but it's about 30 minutes there and 30 minutes back. So I dealed. I made sure to eat my afternoon snack and read the labels on my pre packaged food carefully so i didn't overdose the insulin. And things turned out fine. Then I got home, and couldn't find the monitor. I'm 95% sure it's in my boyfriend's car. Problem being, he drove to Colorado yesterday.

So this morning, I went to stock up on supplies for my back up meter. The lancet shooter thingy is broken, so i stuck lots of lancets in for self poking (which I hate). I even tossed in an extra bottle of test strips. Guess what I forgot?

You're right. The meter.

So I'm guessing that when I get home tonight, my perfect numbers won't be so perfect.

Goal Number One

2009-07-31T13:47:00.000-07:00

It might be a silly thing to start with, and it might not even be working toward good health as much as I would like to think, but within the next few weeks, I hope I can get off Diet Coke entirely.

So far today, I have drank close to 60 ounces of the stuff. It's only 3:45 pm. I'll go home, cook a healthy, diabetes friendly dinner of meat with vegetables and sugar free applesauce, and then I'll drink another third (at least) of the 2 liter in my fridge. All this caffeine ant artificial sugar I put into my body cannot be good for me.

It started in high school, I'm sure. The year after I graduated, they removed the soda machines from my high school in order to combat obesity. Or something. They replaced them with juice and sports drink machines. I was glad they waited til after I graduated. Every day, I grabbed a can from the fridge on the way to school. I bought a 20 oz bottle with lunch, and another before my after-school activity (unless it was softball, in that case I drank a water on the way and bought a 20 oz on the way home). Sometimes, my after school drink would actually be a 32 to 44 oz fountain drink. I worked at Sonic and would drink the DC constantly while I was at work (we got it free from the fountain if we brought our own cups).

In college it just got worse. I kept my mini-fridge stocked with cans and drank from the fountain every meal, including breakfast (even though my school only provided Pepsi, yech!). I had officially formed a caffeine addiction, which I'm sure started in high school. When I went home for my first Christmas break, I had headaches for three full days before I realized what it was and bought a 24 pack to last the rest of the break.

My first full day working here at GWCNM, I went home with a MMCH. Massive migraine caffeine headache. It was terrible.

I'd love to stop drinking the stuff, switch to Green Tea or something more healthy until I can break the addiction. The reason I'm writing is to find motivation. I would really like to be off the stuff by the time classes resume on the 24th, but with eight solid days of work without a break and a vacation with multiple eating out opportunities ahead of me, I wonder if I can do it?

(And I finish the 20 oz bottle sitting on my desk).

Does the heat affect blood sugars?

2009-07-24T12:38:00.001-07:00

I am interning at a National Park for the summer (see my other blog for some stories). Since it's in Southwest Missouri, it is totally HOT. Well, we have had some unseasonably 80 degree days recently, but today it returned to the infamous 90+ with 70% relative humidity that much of the lower Midwest is famous for.

Yesterday, I was walking the 3/4 mile trail at close in order to clear it of all visitors and shut down the park. As I headed up the last leg of the trail, I could feel my sugar levels plummeting.

Usually, I take a sierra mist or Gatorade on the trail with me in case of situations like these. Today, I just didn't. Lucky for me, I ran into a family and had to turn them around. I didn't explain my situation to them, but I figured they would run for help if i collapsed.

I didn't collapse, and my sugar was only 69 when we got back, but...

My co-worker's immediate response to my situation was, "Oh, it's because of the heat, isn't it." (It was only about 87 yesterday but the humidity made it feel well past 90). She's asked this before, and I said, no, it's because of physical activity.

But I wonder, was it because of the heat? I don't think so, but living in an area of the country that gets really hot, it would probably be a nice thing to know.

But I honestly just think it's from the actual walking, and not the actual heat.

Swing Swing Swing

2009-07-22T14:04:00.000-07:00

My second post will come tomorrow when I have time and patience for research. Today has been a crazy one at work and tonight will be filled with homework followed by some karaoke time with my besties at a local bar. Diet coke will be my drink of choice! Alcohol and my blood sugar are not friends, especially on a day like today where my numbers have been all over the place. After forgetting my insulin at home, I downed my breakfast before realizing that I didn't have it. The 30 minute drive back gave my numbers plenty of time to rise well past 200. After correcting with insulin, just before going outside for my 10:45 tour, my sugar dropped to 72. Not dangerous, but I was getting ready to make a 3/4 mile hike with a bunch of 7, 8, and 9 year olds. Downed some Gatorade and was off.

Lunch was awful. I had nothing at home except some things that were chalk full of carbs. I ate a lean cuisine microwaveable pasta dish and paid the price after lunch. Then while giving a presentation at an off site (told you I had a busy day), I crashed again. Lovely!

I'm now holding steady at 15o. Not where I want to be, but I'll try to bring it down after work. I think a short bike ride might be in order.

What do you do when you begin swinging? Anybody have any secret tricks?

(disclaimer: consult your own endo before changing your routine!)

Diabetes Resources

2009-07-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

A list of Diabetes Resources for you:

American Diabetes Association
Juvenile Diabetes Resource Foundation

Diabetes Social Networks: (Why Join a Diabetes Social Network?)
dLife
TuDiabetes
Diabetic Rockstar
1 Happy Diabetic
Diabetes Daily
Diabetes Friends.net
Juvenation
MyDiabetes.com
WeAreDiabetic.org

Meal Management 1/2: Back Story

2009-07-21T13:38:00.000-07:00

I have a formula. I haven't determined whether it will or won't work because I have trouble sticking to it. But I'll share it with you nonetheless.

But first, backstory. I think I am addicted to carbs, which is unfortunate for a diabetic. I don't feel full til I've had my fill of bread or pasta. Veges just don't do it for me. And I love fruit, but it leaves my stomach rumbling and me craving more dessert until I get some cookies or cake in me. Ok, so it's not this bad all the time, but often it is. It makes diabetes management very hard.

I could blame lots of things besides myself, even though I'm ultimately the responsible one. I blame my switch from regular to Humalog most of the time. I was a candidate for a pump when I was 14, and switched to Multiple Daily Injections (MDI) at that point (do they even call it that anymore?). Here I am, eight years later, and I am still taking multiple injections because my a1C's haven't come down far enough to actually enter pump education (not to mention I sitll can't afford the copay for a pump. Outrageous!). My logic: when I switched to MDI, my doctor told me I could essentially eat whatever I wanted. Wow! Whatever I wanted, and just take a shot with it! Awesome! I think I ate anywhere from 100-200 grams of carbs a day after that, and a lot of it I didn't take insulin for (oops).

My mom is the same way. She and I are about the same weight, although she is taller than me and carries her weight at her hips (I dangerously carry mine around my stomach, which I ironically inherited from my great aunt who I am named after). But we both enjoy eating, and we both feel fuller when we have had a good carbo-filled meal.

But it's so dangerous anymore. Recently, my Doctor put me on Symlin (an Amylin supplement; Amylin is a hormone made in the liver that tells the brain when the stomach is full and also helps control post-meal spikes, something I was and do have problems with). The hardest part is remembering to take it. It does affect your stomach until your body is used to it, and so you have to start taking it gradually, anytime you eat 30 or more grams of carbohydrates. If you stop taking it, you have to start again at the smallest dose and work back up again or you get really sick (I found this out the hard way). I also stuffed myself silly before I felt the least bit full (another sign of Amylin deficiency).

Moral of the story is, because of these factors, I had (and still have) very, very poor meal planning abilities. Top that off with living on a college campus for 3 years (eating the limited salad bar with light ranch as the only "healthy" dressing option gets old fast), and you have a recipie for disaster.

Living on my own has helped tremendously. It is so difficult though. It's easy to buy frozen dinners and shove them in the freezer (my biggest temptation is to buy several Totinos pizza's that only cost 1.25 each and eat the whole pizza in one sitting - about 60 grams of carbohydrates and more calories than I even want to mention). But, as a former proponent of "I don't cook," I've begun to enjoy the hobby. As I am working 40 hour weeks this summer (a new concept to me!) I find that coming home and cooking a meal destresses me after a long day (dispite the fact that during southwest Missouri's way-hotter-than-normal June my roommate refused to turn on the a/c!).

I have come up with a game plan for meal planning. As I've rambled on about myself enough for one day, I'll share it with you tomorrow.

S

Create Your Plate

2009-07-21T13:27:00.001-07:00

Create Your Plate

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Lifestyle Choices to Change to Fight Obesity

2009-07-20T12:56:00.001-07:00

As I stated in the previous entry, I'm overweight.

No, don't try to argue with me. Don't tell me I'm "not fat." It's not a self-esteem thing. My self esteem is as good as any 22 year old girl's.

No, it's absolutely a health thing. My risk for heart disease is already high. Diabetes and heredity, as well as being a former smoker put me at high risk. If I can shed some weight, I can significantly drop that risk!

I recently read a book called Water with Lemon, by author Zonya Foco, creator of Lickity Split Meals, a cookbook which has a special edition for diabetics that I own and use on occasion. The part about the book that struck me most was the push to "never underestimate the power of one good habit." I decided to start with Zonya's list of "good habits" to follow (they are available for printing on her website, however, apparently since the last time I checked she has created a "password" which you have to have read the book to have(I'd love to give it to you, but I'll have to go home and look it up).

The point is, everyone has good, healthy habits and bad, unhealthy habits. By making lists of good habits we want to achieve and bad habits we want to eradicate, we can live healthier lives simply by working toward those goals.

MY LISTS:

Healthy Habits to Achieve:

Drinking more water
Exercise 4-5 times a week
Test glucose levels at least 4 times a day
Replace processed foods with fresh and organic foods
Eat more Omega 3 fatty acid foods (to raise my good cholesterol)

Unhealthy Habits to Get Rid of:

stop drinking so much diet coke!!
Stop eating pre-packaged meals with preservatives, artificial flavoring, and massive amounts of sodium (but they're so easy!)
Stop eating at least 3 hours before bedtime (I am queen of late night snacks!)
Lower my sodium intake
Stop staying up late at night (unless I can get a full 8 hours in)

There are my lists. What are some other things on your lists?

Introduction

2009-07-20T08:35:00.001-07:00

Welcome to my experiment. I have been an on and off personal blogger for quite some time, but recently started reading diabetes-centered blogs in an effort to tighten the reigns on my own health and well-being. So here I am, starting my own diabetes blog, for both my benifit and the benifits of others living with the chronic illness.

Forewarning: Do not take anything I write about as medical advice. Consult your own endo before making any changes in your management plan (this is a given, I hope). Do not assume that all the termonology is correct. I was last "diabetes educated" eleven years ago and things have changed drastically. This is why I am starting to read and try and keep up with new developments in the feild. I'm only 22 and feel behind on the times, at least when it comes to diabetes!

Now, who am I? I am a college student, majoring in History. My ultimate goal in life is to work for the National Parks Service; I've been interning at a local park this summer. The NPS actually offers opportunities for me to use my degree. I'm going to get my masters first, starting next fall.

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was 11 years old, on my mother's birthday (some birthday present). I was in the sixth grade. I was active, participating in dance and sports. I knew what diabetes was because I read the Baby Sitters Club books, and one of the characters had diabeetes. I actually kid of suspected I was diabetic, but never mentioned it to anyone (because, who wants that anyway?).

I have struggled wtih management since then. I excellently managed until I hit puberty (late, as many type 1's do, about 14). Since then, my numbers have been all over the place. In high school I got tired of going to the nurse before lunch and quit checking my sugar at school. Then I gradually quit checking it at all, unless I felt high or low. This trend continued in college, and like many people, I continue to sturggle with it today. I take my insulin shots, but don't check my glucose levels. Smart, huh?

The thing is, I am kind of in diabetes denial. I'm sure it's normal. But I'm 22. Ten years of 8+ A1c's have got to be taking their toll on my body.

For example. I'm overweight. Weight has been an issue, well, since I was diagnosed. I gained the weight I lost plus some within weeks (as is normal, I suppose). This is one thing I'll be writing about on here: figuring out how to lose weight (with the help of my diabetes team) and manage my diabetes. It's hard! But I know I can do it.

Here are a list of my goals:

-Get my a1c below 7.0 (It was at 7.8 at my last visit, the first time it was below 8 since before I started seeing this endo, 5 years ago), preferrably within my next 3 endo visits.

-Shed the 30 lbs I've gained since trasnferring colleges in 2007

-Start testing before and after meals to see how foods and activites affect my levels

-Just start testing in general!

-Take my meds on time - not after I eat, not three hours later.

I'd say these are problems many diabetics have. As I research solutions to these problems I plan on blogging. I hope that by helping myself I'll also help others.

Diabolical Diabetty: Defined

2009-07-20T00:14:00.000-07:00

I'm Sarah Jane. I'm a student, I'm a retail associate, I'm a writer, I'm a singer, I'm an amature designer, I am a girlfriend, a sister, and a daughter. These are a few of many ways I define myself. Oh yeah, I'm also a blogger.

One way to define myself is by my given name. My name is Sarah Jane. My internet handle is sajabla. Sajabla is derrived simply - Sarah Jane (last name that begins with Bla).

I also go by The PWD PK. PWD stands for Person With Diabetes. This is one of the ways I define myself. I have diabetes. I was diagnosed in 1998 at the age of eleven. You can read more about my diagnosis story Here and Here. I have been pumping insulin using an Animas Ping pump since November 11, 2009 and using a Dexcom 7 Plus continuous glucose monitor since November 17, 2009.

PK stands for Pastors Kid. My father has been a pastor since before I was born. I've grown up in church, never having a pastor who was not my dad. While I define myself less and less as a PK as I enter into adulthood, it is still something that defines my upbringing and childhood and will remain with me my entire life.

You may be wondering who this Diabolical Diabetty character is. She is my alter ego. She is an evil villian and a super hero all wrapped into one. I got the name in high school where some lovely teenage boys decided to make fun of me carrying around syringes and dubb me Diabetty. Eventually this became Diabolical Diabetty and I was the arch nemisis of one of the guys. I think we should have made a comic book out of it all. But I digress.

Diabetty is the ego I pick up when life with diabetes is hard. When I get frustrated. When I get overloaded. Diabetty is the strong side of me. Becasue diabetes attacks people without judging how strong they are. Sarah Jane isn't strong, but Diabetty is.

OK, I know this sounds creepy and a little mentally off, but I promise, it's not. It's about confidence and doing what you have to do to make it through life. Thanks for sharing in my life by reading my blog. Please leave a comment so I know who you are. I enjoy conversing with my readers.